How I See Him
by WinJennster
Summary: Something awful brought Dean Winchester - er, Smith - to Baltimore, but no one knows what it is. He's seen through the eyes of the people who get to know him, especially the blue eye boy who'll capture his heart. (eventual Destiel, and the slowest of slow burns)
1. Benny's Boulevard Diner

_Yes, it's a new fic. I will get back to DLiB, but I needed a break. Yes, we're in Baltimore again, in my neighborhood actually, but this has zero to do with Painted Angels._

* * *

><p><em>Red.<em>

Red, shiny, slick, and that _smell_.

Red everywhere, on everything.

There was so much blood.

Wide hazel eyes staring at him in fear.

The knife slipped from his blood splattered hand, falling to the floor with a loud clatter.

A whispered voice - _what did you do?_ - and then he was running.

Running hard and fast, and never looking back.

* * *

><p>"He's here again."<p>

Andrea Lafitte hissed the words at her husband before grabbing a tray of sandwiches and heading back to the dining room.

Benny sighed.

He finished the burger he was making, slid it onto a plate and dumped a mess of fries next to it. The boy's eyes followed the plate as Sherrie scooped it up for table four.

Benny had seen hungry kids before. Saw 'em lots of times, in fact. This part of Baltimore, the economy wasn't so great. All big factory jobs had dried up, and a lot of folks just didn't have much anymore. Still, this boy's hunger - it was strong. It was strong, and it was shriveling him up inside.

He'd seen him three times in the last seven days. Dirty light brown hair, pink lips almost too pretty for a boy, freckles dusting across every square inch of exposed skin - he'd come in, order a coffee and a water, sit for a bit, sometimes an hour or two, then leave. He always paid, and he only ever order coffer, but watched food go by longingly, often taking deep, gulping breaths of the aromas.

He was starving. Benny was sure of it.

Andrea was a good hearted woman. She really was. But it made her nervous to have this unwashed teen sitting in her diner not ordering anything. Benny thought maybe he understood. It was February, after all, cold and miserable. Boy probably just came in to warm up for a bit. Likely, he was homeless, broke, and bought the coffee when he could scrape up a $1.15 plus tax in coins from the street. He'd only allow himself two cups, and then he'd leave.

He was halfway through his second cup now.

The kid looked worse since the last time he'd been in, thinner, dirtier. Dark shadows ringed the underside of dull green eyes. He looked ill; filthy. Benny couldn't take it anymore.

"Carlos, buddy, take over here, brotha."

"You got it boss."

Benny scooped up a menu, grabbed a basket of rolls and some butter. He walked out to the dining room, plenty aware of Andrea's eyes on him, aware that she probably knew what he was doing and didn't approve.

He slid into the booth across from the kid, who startled and looked up.

"Hey there. I'm Benny. Own this here place."

The kid stared blankly at him. Benny handed him the menu.

"What can I get you to eat, son?"

Cheeks flushed bright red, and the kid stared down at the tabletop. "Coffee's fine," he mumbled, so soft Benny almost didn't hear it.

"Now, I know you can't afford it. That's fine. That ain't what I'm askin'. I'm askin' what you want to eat, son."

"Can't - I mean - I -"

"Look," Benny said gently, "I know it's been a long time since you ate. How long's it been? Two days? Three?"

"A week," the kid whispered, and he shivered, one lone tear cutting a path through the dirt on his cheek.

"Damn. Alright, look. Anythin' off the menu. Ain't askin' for nothin' in exchange, but you ain't gonna leave without somethin' in your belly."

"But -"

"No buts, kid. What's your name, anyhow?"

"Dean," he murmured.

"Alright, Dean. You like burgers?"

He nodded.

"Cheese and bacon? Fries?"

Dean nodded again. "Extra onions," he mumbled.

"Extra onions. How 'bout pie. Like pie?"

The first flicker of a grin danced across Dean's face as he nodded again.

"Alright, then. I'm gonna go make you some fries, a bacon cheeseburger, and a chocolate shake. Sound good?"

"Yessir."

"Don't you sir me. I'm only forty-two for pete's sake." Benny scooped the menu off the table. "Help yourself to that bread while I'm gettin' this."

He walked back to the kitchen, grinning when he heard the soft scratch of the bread basket against the Formica table top.

"I swear, Benjamin Lafitte. Ain't never gonna get out of Dundalk if you keep this up." Andrea slammed a plate down on the prep counter. "Feed one stray, end up feedin' all of them."

"'Drea -"

"And then we'll have a line out the door. Ain't got nothin' against soup kitchens, but I ain't runnin' one!"

"'Drea -"

"I mean, seriously, Benny. We're so close to being able to sell this dump and move back to New Orleans -"

"Stop pickin' on my diner. A week, 'Drea."

She frowned, soft pale skin wrinkling on her forehead. "What?"

"He ain't eaten in a week. Had to 'Drea. Poor kid, looks like he's maybe eighteen, and hasn't eaten in a week. I won't take in all the strays, I swear, but -"

"A week?" she asked quietly, expression softening.

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Benny tossed two burger patties on the grill. "So I'm gonna feed him. Send him on his way. I doubt he'll be back. I think he's embarrassed. Probably gonna up and disappear." He flipped the burger patties and tossed some bacon on the grill. "Wonder what his story is, anyway? Awful young to be out here in the world all alone, huh?"

"It happens, Benny." Andrea peered out the window at where Dean was sitting, chewing carefully on a roll. "He seems to have good table manners. Guess someone raised him up right, at least."

"Hmm." Benny put a couple of slices of cheddar on a patty, added two slices of bacon. He added the second patty, more cheese, more bacon. Andrea handed him a plate with the bun ready to go, and he slipped the patties onto it, set lettuce, tomato, and a pickle spear on the plate and a stack of onions on top.

"Too many onions," Andrea protested.

"Kid said extra onions. So extra onions."

Andrea didn't say a thing when he put the equivalent of two orders of fries on the plate. Setting the plate in the warmer, he quickly made a chocolate milkshake, leaving a bunch of ice cream in the bottom of the mixer. Benny grabbed the plate, the milkshake, and the mixer cup, and hip checked the swinging kitchen door.

"Here ya go, kid," he announced cheerfully, setting everything on the table.

Dean's eyes went comically wide. "Holy cow."

"Eat up, ok?"

He nodded enthusiastically, reaching for the shake and taking a nice, long pull through the straw. Benny left him too it.

Back in the kitchen, he helped Carlos fill more orders, tossing a large wedge of pecan pie in the warmer for when the kid was done.

A short time later, he was sitting back in front of the kid, watching as he inhaled the pie.

"Pecan is my favorite," Dean said happily. "Thank you. I was so hungry and -" His cheeks flushed scarlet. "Anyway, thank you."

"Welcome." Benny patted Dean's hand. "See ya around, kiddo. Ever get hard up like that 'gain, you come see me. Ok?"

Dean nodded.

"Alright then." Benny smiled, and went back to the kitchen.

Dinner rush started not long after that, and he didn't think about Dean for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>Driving home on Wise Avenue that evening, Benny did think about Dean again. Andrea was dozing in the passenger seat, as Benny signaled, and a boy passed crossed Lynch Road in front of the car.<p>

He was a little older than Dean, not by much, and the angry, hardened eyes that stared back at him were nothing like the sad, green eyes he'd seen in his diner that afternoon. He wondered if Dean had a place to sleep that night. The temperature was dropping fast. It was 28 degrees and falling.

Benny parked the car in front of their little rowhouse on Grey Haven Road and shut it off. He hoped Dean was safe - and he hoped he'd see him again.

Three days later, he got his wish.

* * *

><p>"I could wash dishes. Clean floors."<p>

"Jesus!" Benny stumbled back, almost falling through the back door and into the kitchen. "Scared me half to death, Dean!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't - I'll go." The kid's face fell, as he shoved his hands into his dirty jacket and turned away.

"Don't go, c'mon. You jus' scared me. Ain't no big thing. Come back here."

Dean shuffled back to the bottom of the stairs, but didn't look up.

"Now, you askin' me for a job?" he asked gently.

"Well, no - I mean - I just -" His shoulders slumped. "I'm hungry. I thought maybe I could do chores for a burger, maybe a couple of pieces of toast. I um," Dean sniffled, rubbed at his eyes, but still didn't look up. "I'm so hungry. And I don't want to keep bothering you. I had some money, but I - I -"

Benny's heart clenched as two fat tears rolled down Dean's face and dripped onto the dirty coat.

"I lost it. Well, someone took it." He looked up, expression totally wrecked. "Just a couple of pieces of toast. And I'll take trash out, or clean or something. Please?" he pleaded, eyes wide.

Sighing, Benny dropped heavily onto the stairs, wincing at the feel of the cold metal under his ass. "Where's your folks, kid?"

Dean shuddered. "Don't have any."

"Ok. Look, I actually need a busboy. How 'bout I pay you for your work? Give you a job? How old are ya, anyways?"

"Twenty-one."

Huh. Benny was sure he was younger. Maybe it was the thinness - maybe he was lying - Benny didn't care.

"Ain't got no one?"

"No," Dean shivered. "Just me."

"Ok, look. Now you're probably lying to me about something, probably your age. I don't think I care. C'mon in, let's get you in somethin' clean, wash your hands and face. Gonna start you washin' dishes. Thing you can handle that?"

Dean nodded.

"Alright. Let's get you somethin' to eat first. But at any rate, you got a job, ok? Long as you ain't a deadbeat, and show up and work, I'll pay you, and you can eat free once every shift. Alright?"

Dean nodded again.

"Well, let's get you started."

* * *

><p>Dean proved to be a very good employee. He showed up well before his shift, worked hard, did extra work without being asked, and never gave Benny a reason to regret hiring him.<p>

It was a full week before Benny discovered the kid was most definitely homeless.

"He's been sleeping between the dumpster and the building. Shit, Ben, I didn't know, or I'd have told you sooner."

Benny looked at Dean, sitting in his office with head hanging.

"I found him this morning. Almost decked him," Carlos said softly. "He scared me half to death. I asked him, he said he was just early for work, but then I saw this old ratty blanket back there, put two and two together - anyway. Poor kid. He's such a nice kid."

"Ok. Lemme go talk to him." Benny patted Carlos on the back, before crossing the kitchen to his office. He went inside, quietly shutting the door behind him. "Hey, Dean-o," he said softly.

"Please don't call me that," Dean whispered, shoulders shaking.

"Alright." Benny sat at his desk, folding his hands on top. "Wanna talk 'bout it?"

Dean shook his head, but didn't look up. "Just get it over with," he mumbled.

"Get what over with?"

"Just fire me. I'll go. It's ok."

"Fire you - why the hell would I fire you?"

Dean sniffled. "'Cause I'm useless. Got nowhere to go, come to work all dirty. Eat your food. Should jus' go." Tears streamed down Dean's face, but he didn't look up. He reached down and gathered his things.

"Dean, I want you to stay. You're a good kid, an' you work hard. Don't give me or Carlos no trouble. I want you to stay. But you can't sleep behind the dumpster. Get your stuff together. I'm gonna take you home."

"What?" Dean's head shot up, and he stared at Benny in amazement. "Why - why would you do that?"

"I got an extra room. It's a finished basement, has its own bathroom. I can bump you up to full time here, and you can rent it from me. $100 a month," Benny said, coming up with a number that wouldn't hurt Dean's pride, but wouldn't hurt his pockets either. "There's a fridge and a microwave down there. Buy your own food, come and go as you please. But you come stay with me and 'Drea, alright?"

To his horror, Dean burst into tears and started sobbing, his thin frame shaking with the force of it.

"Aw, what's wrong? C'mon, Dean." Benny moved around from the desk and went down on one knee. "Ain't that bad. It's little but it's comfy and warm. There's already a bed down there, and a TV, and you can fix it up -"

"Not that," Dean wailed, "just can't stand you being so nice to me. I don't deserve it, Benny!"

"Son, you work hard here. That's enough for me. I don't mind giving you a place to live."

"But -"

"Dean, it'll make me feel better to know you got a roof over your head. Jus' let me do this, 'k? I don't care what your story is. Ain't got to tell me. Just clean up after yourself, pay your rent, show up for work. That's all I'm askin'. Alright?"

Dean nodded, and swiped at the tears still rolling down his face.

"By the way, kid. You got a last name?"

"Win- Smith. It's Smith."

That was a bald face lie, but Benny didn't care.

"Ok, Dean Smith. Get your stuff. I'm gonna take you home, and show you the room. Take today off, get a shower, sleep. Alright?"

Dean nodded again.

"Alright then."

* * *

><p>"This here's the bathroom. Here's your little fridge, and there's some cabinets to store stuff in. Jus' keep it clean. Don't want no mice or roaches down here. Washer and dryer's upstairs, but no offense - 'til we get to know you a bit better, gonna have to do laundry when one of us is home. Upstairs door'll be locked otherwise." Benny handed Dean a key. "This'll get you in an' out. Gonna schedule you same time as me for now, which means you'll be workin' some ten hour shifts. Might start training you to cook. See how it goes."<p>

Dean wasn't listening. Dean was running his hand along the battered loveseat, staring admiringly at the second-hand TV on the chipped and scratched entertainment center. He lovingly touched the old quilt on the twin bed in the corner, and switched on the lamp with the dented metal Orioles shade.

"This is so nice," he murmured, more to himself than Benny.

"Aw, ain't much kiddo -"

"Better than the dumpster," Dean shot back, sending Benny a grin that made his heart warm. There was a flicker of sass in there, maybe a glimpse of who this kid used to be, before whatever happened to him took all the light out of his eyes.

"Well. Huh. Anyways - towels and soap in the bathroom, and some of my old sweats and tees in the dresser. Why don't you get a shower, and bring all your old stuff up? We'll toss it in the wash, and I'll make us somethin' to eat. Sound good?"

Dean nodded vaguely, already slipping out of his ratty boots.

"Alright." Benny made himself scarce. He smiled when he got to the top of the steps.

Dean was singing _Ramble On_ softly under his breath.

…

Charlie Bradbury was having a bad day. A beyond the pale, step in dog shit, slip on a banana peel, break a nail bad day.

Nobody, after all, likes getting fired. Besides, was it really her fault that she's smarter than pretty much everyone she's ever met?

At any rate, Dick Roman definitely lived up to his name.

She sighed as she shoved open the chrome and glass door at Benny's Boulevard Diner. She had no idea how she'd ended up in Dundalk instead of home in Fells Point, but one lousy wrong MTA bus, and there she was.

A pretty lady with dark hair smiled at her. "Sit anywhere, hon. Someone'll be right with you," she said, with a soft southern accent.

Charlie nodded, taking the proffered menu. She slid into the first available booth and let out another deep sigh.

"Bad day?"

A boy, probably not much older than her, was clearing dirty plates at the opposite booth. He wore ratty jeans, and a white t-shirt, but both garments, and his white apron, were spotlessly clean. Even his black work boots had a bit of shine to them.

"Mmm. Yeah. Not like, destruction of Alderaan bad, but definitely delusions of grandeur, frozen in Carbonite bad."

He froze, then grinned, dimples appearing on freckled cheeks. "What, not like, Luke, I am your father bad?"

Charlie scoffed. "Nothing is that bad."

"Seriously? Luke, I am your father is worse than Alderaan going kablooie and a great disturbance in the force?"

"Huh. You might have a point."

"How 'bout ship full of tribbles bad?"

"How a medieval dickweed killed Ted bad?"

"One point twenty-one gigawatts bad?"

"Or Goa'uld are invading the Earth bad?"

"War with Guilder bad?"

"Come with me if you want to live bad."

"Whoa," the guy said, holding his hands up in surrender, "pretty sure that's as bad as it gets."

Charlie laughed and extended her hand. "Charlie Bradbury; sassy ginger, nerd, wizard, queen, and dungeon master."

"Dean Smith," he smiled, taking her hand and shaking it, "pie-lover, car nut, sci-fi enthusiast, and bus boy. Nice to make your acquaintance, your majesty." He bowed, and lightly kissed her hand.

"You're kind of cool, Dean Smith."

"And you are most awesome, Charlie Bradbury." He finished wiping down the other table, and looked at the empty seat across from her. "Waiting for someone?"

"Nah. I just got fired, and I took the wrong bus, and ended up in Dundalk instead of home."

"Where's home?"

Charlie smiled, relieved that he didn't ask why she got fired. "Fells Point."

"Huh. Only been here about a month, so I don't really know where that is."

"Oh, well it's down on the waterfront in the city."

"So still Baltimore?"

"Yup." Charlie watched him clean another table. "So where are you from?"

Dean paled, and the cheerful grin ran away from his face. "Everywhere," he muttered, scooping up his bus tray and walking briskly towards the kitchen.

"Was it something I said?" Charlie frowned. She looked down at the menu.

"What can I get you, hon?" The pretty lady from before smiled down at her, pen poised over her order pad.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I wasn't looking. I was talking to the bus boy. He seems nice."

The lady looked through the order window, where a big man with a beard was talking to Dean, who was staring down at the ground. Bearded dude seemed to be comforting Dean, patting his shoulder with a meaty hand.

"Dean's a nice boy. He's very quiet. That's why I didn't come over sooner. It was nice to see him smilin'."

"Wow. What's his story?"

"We're not really sure. He plays his cards close, but someone hurt him. Hurt him real bad, and my husband, Benny, he took him in. He lives in our basement, keeps himself clean, and works far harder than he has too." She looked away from Benny and Dean, and smiled sadly at Charlie. "I don't know why I'm dumpin' all of this on you. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I had a pretty bad day. I appreciate the distraction. He seems so nice, though."

"Oh he is, believe me." She patted Charlie's hand and slid into the booth opposite of her. "Gonna take a load off for a minute while you look through the menu. I'm Andrea, by the way."

"Charlie."

"Lovely to meet you, Charlie. So what made your day so bad, if you don't mind my askin'?"

"Got fired," she grimaced. "Too smart for my misogynistic dickwad boss. Not my fault he erased all his own email 'cause he's stupid. Anyway, I'm supposed to be the resident computer whiz, but I couldn't retrieve it. I'm pretty sure he was doing shady stuff and I think he knows I found out. That's why I got fired. Moron."

"Sorry to hear that."

Charlie flipped the menu. "I liked that job, too. And now I'm out of a job, and probably going to lose my apartment."

"Willin' to learn how to wait tables?"

"Huh?" Charlie looked up in surprise and Andrea grinned at her.

"If my hubby can take in a stray, so can I. And I'm short a waitress. You're sweet, and friendly, and you'll make good tips here. We're a staple in Dundalk, and we have a solid regular crowd that tips real good. I'll train you myself."

"Really?" Charlie asked, "you'd do that for me? You don't even know me!"

Andrea looked through the window, her pretty eyes tracking Dean and Benny as they moved around the kitchen. Her expression was equal parts sad and thoughtful, as she said quietly, "Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Wow. Thank you so much. I'll take it!"

"Good," Andrea said, turning back to smile at Charlie. "First meal's on the house, and maybe later you can look at our pathetic ordering system, since Benny and I don't know anything about it. Could use a computer whiz 'round here." She patted Charlie's hand again.

"Sure! Ok, I'll have a BLT with fries, please. And a Coke?"

"You got it. Comin' right up sweetheart." Andrea stood, took her menu, and walked towards the back, sliding the ticket towards Benny. "Benny, this here BLT's for our new server, Charlie Bradbury." She pointed towards Charlie.

Benny leaned down, blue eyes sparkling as he waved through the window at Charlie. "Welcome to the family, cher!" he said, thick accent making her smile.

Dean caught her eyes through the window and offered a shy smile, which she returned happily.

_Welcome to the family._ She turned the words over and over in her head.

Maybe she didn't take the wrong bus after all.


	2. Welcome to the Family

_I did some minor editing to chapter 1 to fix some timeline issues (there were things mentioned in the previous chapter that didn't exist yet. Dean's real age is revealed in this chapter, and you should be able to figure out the year from that). Thanks for reading!_

* * *

><p>About a month and a half after Dean moved in, Benny found himself in the kitchen at three in the morning. There was a pretty good chance he shouldn't have had that last piece of pizza before bed, and the look 'Drea gave him when he did probably wasn't helping.<p>

He poured a nice tall glass of milk and rooted through the junk drawer for the pack of Rolaids that he stashed in there for occasions just like this. Then, like he did almost every night, he opened the door at the top of the stairs and listened for Dean's soft snores - only tonight, Dean wasn't snoring. He was whimpering, choked-off little _no's_ drifting up the steps.

Benny frowned and set his milk on the table. He walked down the first several steps, until he could just see Dean in his bed, blue light from the _Budweiser_ sign on the wall illuminating the expression of terror on his face.

Dean thrashed in the sheets, a muffled cry of "please, stop!" traveling up the stairs.

Switching on the light, Benny all but ran down the steps, crossing the room to gather Dean in his arms.

"Buddy, it's ok. I'm right here. Wake up, Dean, wake up!"

"Dad, no!" Dean screamed, and slammed his fist into Benny's jaw. It was a sloppy hit, and he'd seen it coming. Benny avoided most of it, but the boy's fist still made an impact. He grabbed for Dean's wrists, pinning them down at his sides.

"It's me, Dean! It's Benny!"

Screaming incoherently, Dean struggled, fighting against the hold on his wrists. "No! No! Let me go, no, Dad, no! NO!"

Yanking his arms loose, he shoved Benny as hard as he could, toppling them both off the bed in the process. Tangled in the blankets, Dean landed with a hard thump on the floor, immediately curling into a tight ball and burrowing backwards under the bed frame.

"Benny?"

"He's havin' a nightmare, 'Drea. Can't seem to wake him up. Was screamin' at his Dad or somethin'."

Andrea frowned and gathered the folds of her nightgown. "Dean, honey," she murmured soothingly, kneeling beside the bed. "Dean, I need you to wake up. C'mon sweetheart."

Dean whimpered from beneath the bed.

"It's ok. No one here is going to hurt you." She changed position, laying down flat and reaching one arm beneath the bed.

Benny tensed, terrified that Dean was going to strike her, but he didn't move.

"It's ok," she soothed. "You're alright, and everything's fine. You're ok, Dean. No one's going to hurt you."

Dean whispered something to her, and she nodded. He let her take his hand and pull him out from under the bed, his face flushed bright red in the low light. The sharp scent of urine hung heavy in the air, likely the cause of Dean's embarrassment.

"It's ok, son," Andrea said softly, helping him to his feet. "Go on, get cleaned up, and join Benny and me upstairs. I'll cut you a piece of pie and make you some tea. Ok?"

Nodding, Dean grabbed a few things out of his dresser and disappeared into the bathroom. When the water switched on, Andrea sighed, her shoulders slumping. "That was horrible. My god. Did he scream 'Dad stop'?"

"Yup."

"Huh. That both answers and raises questions. That poor boy. Oh, Benny," she breathed, "I'm so glad you took him in like you did. 'Magine if he was still runnin' the streets -" her breath hitched, and she covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

"But we did take him in. He's with us, and we're gonna keep him safe. Now why don't you go on up and get that pie out? I'm gonna clean up his floor right quick."

Andrea nodded, caught him in a quick hug, and walked back up the stairs.

Sighing, Benny gathered a mop and bucket, cleaning the linoleum under Dean's bed quickly. Next, he grabbed the damp blankets and shoved them in a laundry basket. Fetching another blanket from the closet, Benny remade Dean's bed. He was upstairs making a cup of coffee when Dean joined him and Andrea in the kitchen. The boy slipped silently into a chair, hands hidden in an overlarge Orioles sweatshirt. It had been Benny's, and while Benny was sure that in time, Dean would be taller than him, he was still painfully thin, and everything, even the items they'd picked up just for him, were miles too big on Dean.

"Here you go," Andrea said softly, setting a warm piece of apple cranberry pie in front of Dean, and a cup of herbal tea.

Dean didn't move. He stared down at the floor, hands in his lap.

"Dean, honey," Andrea began, sitting down next to him, "it's just pie. Nice and warm. Might make you feel a little better." She reached out and laid a hand on Dean's shoulder.

He flinched violently, and all the color left her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she murmured, but didn't pull her hand back, just continued to rub across his shoulders in a soothing pattern.

"Wanna talk 'bout it?" Benny asked quietly.

Dean shook his head vehemently.

"Alrigh' then." Benny pulled his own piece of pie closer and dug in.

Andrea finished hers and put the plate in the sink. Dean still hadn't touched his, sitting eerily still and rigid at the table. There was minute tremble in his shoulders, but Benny intended to ignore that.

"Well, boys, I'm going back up." She leaned down and kissed the top of Benny's head, then carefully patted Dean's shoulder. "See you in the morning." As Andrea left the kitchen, she cast Benny a look over the back of Dean's head, very clearly saying_ talk to him_ with her eyes. Benny nodded. Finishing his pie, Benny slid the plate to the side.

"Ok, just us guys here - wanna tell me what happened? Who you runnin' from, Dean?"

Dean didn't answer. He stared at his sleeve covered hands.

"Buddy, I jus' want to -"

"I can be gone by morning," Dean whispered.

"What? Why?"

"You don't want me here, right? You're going to ask me to leave. Let's just get it over with."

Benny's heart clenched. "I don't want you to leave, Dean. I don't know why you'd think that. 'Drea and I - well we - anyway. We can't have kids, Dean. And both of us is starting to think of you like a son. I don't know why the hell you think we'd ask you to leave."

Dean looked up, eyes wide. "Really?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, I mean sure, I'd like to know where you come from and why you're out here all 'lone, but ain't gonna ask you to leave."

"Oh." Dean sat quietly for a moment. He pulled the piece of pie closer and took a bite.

"Few things I do want to know, though."

His face blanched.

"Don't go and get upset. I got a feelin' you need protectin' from somebody. No matter what you tell me tonight, I ain't gonna send you away. I need you trust me on that, ok?"

Dean nodded slowly.

"Alrigh'. First, how old are you? For real this time."

"Sixteen."

"Damn. When's your birthday?"

"About two months ago. January 24th."

"So you just turned sixteen?"

"Yeah."

"Aw, damn kid. Shit." Benny scratched his head while Dean slowly ate his pie. "So something happened to you. Someone hurt you bad, huh?"

Dean nodded again.

"You need to disappear?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. Well, jus' so happens, I know a guy. He can make you eighteen and make your name legally Dean Smith, since I know that ain't right either."

"Well, the Dean part is right. I don't have a middle name."

"Oh." Benny scratched his head, watching quietly while Dean finished his pie. "Sixteen, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Well, once Frank makes you a card carrying eighteen year old member of society, we'll see 'bout gettin' your license." Dean stared at Benny. "What?"

"Just. I dunno. I don't understand why you and Andrea are so good to me. You don't know anything about me."

"I know your birthday and how old you are," Benny shot back.

"Yeah, but I could be - I could be -"

"What? A murderer or something? Don't think you've got that in you, kid. I think someone hurt you, hurt you real bad. I know you're scared of that person - scared enough that you ran. I know you ain't got no one else to go to. I know that you're a good kid and need someone to look after you. I'm happy to be that someone. Sound pretty accurate so far?"

Dean nodded.

"So no sisters? No brothers?"

An unreadable expression, almost like grief, crossed Dean's face, but he shook his head. "Just me," he mumbled.

"Folks are gone? No mom or dad?"

"No."

Benny sighed and scratched his neck, choosing his next words carefully. "Before - before you woke up, you were screaming, and you said _'Dad, no'_. Dean, did your Daddy do something to you? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm tired," Dean said, standing and pushing his plate away. "I'm going to bed." He turned and vanished down the stairs, the door closing with a decisive click behind him.

"Well, Lafitte, bang up job. And I guess that answers that question." He sighed, and gathered his and Dean's dishes. He loaded the dishwasher before he went back up to bed.

Pausing at the basement door, he pulled it open silently, hoping to hear Dean snoring. Instead, he heard the muffled sound of someone crying. Benny frowned, and fought against every instinct he had. He wanted to run down the stairs and pull Dean into his arms and promise him that he was safe and loved.

Instead, he shut the door with a sigh and left the kitchen, walking through the living room and turning to head up the stairs, all the while vowing to himself that he would be a better father to Dean than that nameless, abusive bastard ever was.

* * *

><p>Charlie watched Dean from across the diner, as he carefully piled plates and glasses into a bus tray. He was quiet. Too quiet.<p>

In the past month, since she'd started working at Benny's, she'd come to look forward to the times her and Dean were on the same schedule. They'd throw pop culture references back and forth, warble the 50's doo-wop the jukebox pumped out in the most off-key manner possible, and in general, amuse the clientele of the diner.

Charlie was vain enough to realize she was quickly becoming the favorite server of several of their regulars, but Dean was universally loved by all. Maybe it was his wide green eyes and slightly wounded appearance, but it seemed to her that many of the older ladies that came for regular lunches wanted to take him home and mother him. Dean just seemed to bring out the mothering instincts in everyone.

Including, she was dismayed to learn, herself.

Which is why she stood just behind the glass dessert case, watching him move slowly, tiredly, and Charlie wondered if he was coming down with something.

There was a whole lot of unknown where Dean Smith was concerned.

Sighing, Charlie grabbed a tray and headed to the kitchen. Benny was humming along to the radio, flipping burger patties on the grill.

"What's wrong with him?" Charlie demanded.

"Wha'? Who?"

"Dean! Why's he's all exhausted and wounded-looking? What did you do to him?" She dropped a hand to her hip and glared at Benny.

"Aw, suga-plum, I ain't done nothin' to that boy. Jus' didn't sleep good last night. Ok?"

"Hmm."

"I'm not lying, Miss Charlie. If I'm lyin', I'm cryin', and I ain't cryin'."

"Ugh, you and your southern weirdness!"

The kitchen door swung open, and Dean pushed through, arms straining with the weight of the bus tray. Charlie and Benny both watched him as he carried it through the kitchen and back to the dishwashing area.

"He had a rough night, Charlie. Ok? Anythin' else is on him to tell you." He slid two plated burgers her way. "Here's your table five, darlin'. I gotta get a few things in the oven. Don't be standin' 'round during lunch rush!"

Benny walked away from the grill, and from her, and that was all Charlie needed to know the conversation was over. Sighing again, she hefted the tray and delivered table five's order.

Later, when the lunch rush was over, Charlie took a few minutes to herself, back in the reception room. That room only got used once in a while, so for the most part, the staff used it as a break room.

She was surprised to find Dean and Benny in there, all the way in the back corner booth. An older man with thick black glasses and a shock of white hair was with them, a large stack of papers on the table. Dean was signing things, and as Charlie watched, Benny passed a white envelope to the man. He opened it, seemed to count the items inside and smiled, holding out his hand for Benny to shake.

Feeling very much like she was intruding, Charlie backed out of the room on silent feet. Dean emerged about thirty minutes later and picked up his bus tray, heading back to work like nothing was wrong.

In fact, as a new song came on the jukebox, Dean grinned across the diner at her, and started belting the lyrics at the top of his lungs.

"_One two three o'clock, four o'clock rock! Five six seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock! Nine ten eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rock! We're gonna rock around the clock tonight!"_ He was horribly off-key, just like always, and he hip checked Charlie as he danced past her, shaking his hips in a bad impression of Elvis.

Charlie grinned, and picked up the tune. _"So put your glad rags on and join me hon! We're gonna have some fun when the clock strikes one!"_ Dean set his tray on the nearest empty table, and Charlie let him take her hand as they sang the next verse together.

"_We're gonna rock around the clock tonight! We're gonna rock rock rock till the broad daylight! We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight!"_

Laughing, she let Dean swing her around a couple of times, her little white apron spinning out as Dean danced her around the tables. Dean was a truly terrible dancer, and she was pretty sure they looked like a couple of idiots, but the handful of patrons in the diner seemed to be enjoying the show.

The song ended, and there was a round of applause.

Dean hopped up on a bench and took a very exaggerated bow. "Thank you, thank you, we'll be here all week folks! Try the crab soup!" He hopped back down and grabbed his tray off the table. "That was fun," he smiled at Charlie.

"Good to see you laughing. You seemed so down this morning. Anything I can do to help?"

The grin faded, but just the slightest bit. Dean seemed determined to keep his cheerful facade in place. "Nope, I'm good. Just peachy, in fact."

"Dean -"

"I'm good, Charlie. Seriously. Let it go." The grin vanished, and he walked away from her, slamming through the kitchen door.

Benny looked out through the order window, shooting her a meaningful look, eyebrow raised towards table eight.

Sighing yet again, Charlie pulled her order pad from apron, and went back to work.

* * *

><p>"And what do I gotta do to get your number, sweet cheeks?"<p>

"Grows tits and a vagina," the cute little redhead snapped back, grabbing the plated burger from his hand and stalking out of the kitchen.

Gabe Milton chuckled and flipped the next burger patty with a practiced wrist. "Ooh, sassy. Me like!"

"Barkin' up the wrong tree there, pal. Miss Charlie don't play for our team."

Benny, his new boss, had a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, as he set several strips of bacon on the grill. "Miss Charlie likes 'em soft and curvy."

"Yup. And pretty. That teacher that comes in sometimes, Gilda? She's got it bad for her," another voice said, pushing through the kitchen door with a bus tray.

Turning from the grill, the first thing Gabe noticed was big green eyes, then the freckles, the bright skin, and plush, full pink lips. Damn, but this little boy was beautiful.

"And you are?"

"Dean Smith," beautiful answered, holding out a hand for Gabe to shake. "I'm kinda the resident busboy slash dishwasher," he explained, flashing a brilliant grin.

"Slash trainee cook," Benny added. "He shows a penchant for pie crust, so I've been trainin' him on some of our desserts." Benny picked up the bacon with a set of tongs and dropped them on a plate with toasted bread, tomato, and lettuce. He added a handful of potato chips, and held the plate out. "Dean, buddy, grab a bowl of crab soup and run this out to Victor, please?"

Dean took the plate with a nod and disappeared through the kitchen door. Gabe watched him set the plate in front of a cop sitting at the lunch counter, smiling and chatting pleasantly as he dished up the soup.

Damn, but he had the cutest ass.

"Don't get any ideas. That boy is way too young for the likes of you," Benny said firmly. He slapped a mound of hash browns down on the griddle.

"That obvious?"

"Your eyes been glued to his ass since he came in here. That kid is my adopted son, y'understand? Hands off. He's been through enough."

"Oh? Sounds like a story there." Gabe put together another burger and slid the plate through the window. "'Sides, I can tell he's too young for me. Doesn't mean I can't enjoy the scenery!"

"As long as lookin' is all you do. Don't care none 'bout what you like, not my business. Dean is my business. Understand?"

"Perfectly."

"Good."

Benny put the hash browns on a plate, slid a couple of fried eggs on top, added some sausages, and put the plate in the window. "Anyways. How you likin' the job so far? Sorry to just toss you in here, but with Carlos just up and quittin' like that - well, as you can see, we're pretty popular 'round here, so we need the help. Seem to know what you're doin', at any rate."

"Ain't my first rodeo. I've been working in kitchens since I graduated high school. I got this."

"Well, damn glad to have you. Jus' hope you're dependable. Dean's just now learnin' the ropes. He won't be ready to man the grill anytime soon."

"No, man, look. I needed a job. And I need one that's not gonna toss me out when the boss's kid decides_ he_ needs a job." Gabe flipped a few pancakes. "Not that I'm saying you'll do that, but that's what happened at my last job. And those asshats are still making coin off my recipes!"

Benny nodded. "Well, that won't happen here. Promise. We'd like you to stay. I hate losin' folks. Like to think we're more like a family than a workplace. I dunno. Anyway, time for your break. You can grab somethin' to eat and go sit down. We usually hang out back in the reception room, behind the main part of the diner."

Gabe nodded. "I'd just like a piece of pie and maybe a thing of that soup."

"Get what you want. No biggie."

One of the other servers stuck an order ticket in the window and rang the little bell, taking the plate of breakfast and walking away. Benny grabbed the order and got busy making it, ignoring Gabe.

Walking out front, he cut himself a piece of lemon meringue and fetched a bowl of crab soup and a glass of coke. He carried his snack back to the break room.

Dean was in there, wiping down tables, and he smiled at Gabe. "How's the first day going?"

"Pretty good so far."

"Awesome."

Gabe watched Dean move around the room, carefully wiping down each table and vinyl bench. He then made sure all of the chairs were neatly arranged around the square tables in the middle of the room, wiping all of them down as well.

Andrea Lafitte, the boss's wife, popped through the kitchen door with a plate. "Dean, honey, I made you some lunch." She set a burger, a milkshake, and a generous slice of pie on a nearby table. "How 'bout you sit and eat?"

"Ok, Andrea. I am hungry. Didn't even notice." He slid into the booth and smiled up at her. "Thanks."

"Anytime, sugar. Eat it all, ok?" She patted his head, and disappeared back into the kitchen.

_Huh, _Gabe thought, _Bossman and the little lady both overprotective of the pretty young thing. Definitely a story there. _

He was dying to ask Dean a few questions, but it was only his first day after all, no sense in stirring up things that likely didn't want to be stirred up.

As if he could hear Gabe thinking about him, Dean raised his head and looked across the room. He caught Gabe's eyes, and winked and grinned before dropping his attention back to his plate.

Looks like that should be illegal.

* * *

><p>Castiel Novak would never, ever forget the first time he saw Dean Smith.<p>

It was a rainy April day and Cas wanted the hell out of Baltimore. He knew that much for sure. He was so sick of his family, and the expectations of duty and honor they forced upon him.

Coming out as 100% gay hadn't helped either.

_But you've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You've never even been kissed. How the hell do you know you're gay? _The arguments his folks presented were antiquated and pedantic. They also revealed just how out of touch his family was.

So, he gathered the few things he cared about in an old duffel bag and bugged out. He didn't care where he went, just that he did. And somehow, he'd ended up in Dundalk, at the corner of Holabird and Merritt Boulevard. Barely eighteen, and feeling horribly alone for the first time in his life, Cas stared up at the bright neon of Benny's Boulevard Diner.

Well, if nothing else, he could get warm and maybe have a bowl of soup.

He pushed through the chrome and glass door, his senses immediately bombarded by a thousand wonderful smells and Stevie Wonder blasting from the large jukebox by the door.

Someone was singing along with the song, and they were flat out _terrible_.

"_When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer. Superstition ain't the way!" _

A young man did something halfway between a moonwalk and an electric slide across the tile, bus tray in hand. He stopped directly in front of Cas, winked, grinned, and danced off, still singing his heart out, despite the pained look a red-haired server was giving him.

"_Very superstitious, wash your face and hands, rid me of the problem, do all that you can, keep me in a daydream, keep me goin' strong. You don't wanna save me, sad is my song."_ Cas watched, mesmerized, as the boy danced across the diner, scooping up dishes and wiping tables.

"_When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer. Superstition ain't the way!" _He looked up and grinned at Cas again, bright green eyes sparkling.

He was the single handsomest boy Castiel had ever seen, and the last confirmation he'd ever need as far as his sexuality was concerned. Uncomfortably aware that his cheeks were turning red, he turned away from the busboy.

"Don't pay any attention to Star Search over there. Here for dinner?"

Dinner. Wait. What?

The redhead was talking to him. Her name tag read _Charlie_.

"Uh, dude? You ok? I swear we're not all as crazy as he is." She looked genuinely concerned, and Cas mentally shook himself.

"Yes, dinner. Right." He nodded, and she snatched a menu from the podium. "Right this way, then."

Charlie led Cas across the diner, showing him to a small booth. "Seriously, don't mind Dean. He can't sing, or dance for that matter, but he's harmless. Promise." She pulled an order pad out of her apron. "What can I get you to drink?"

Cas frowned, thinking about the miniscule amount of cash in his wallet. "Water will be fine," he said softly.

"Ok. I'll give you a minute to look at the menu. Be right back."

Opening the menu, he paged through it thoughtfully, pleased to find that a cup of soup was a mere $2.95. He could afford that.

A steaming cup of hot chocolate was set down carefully in front of him, and he stared up into a constellation of soft brown freckles.

"You looked cold," Dean explained, a shy smile on his face. "On the house. Get warm, ok?" Dean sauntered off, snagging his bus tray from the counter and vanishing through the swinging door to the kitchen.

"Thank you," he whispered softly.

Later, after he'd eaten his small cup of broccoli and cheese soup and delayed the inevitable as long as he could, Cas started to pack up to leave, pulling on his coat and reaching for the duffel he'd stashed under the table.

"Let me guess. You don't have anywhere to go." Charlie and Dean both slid into the booth opposite of him, Charlie with her arms crossed over her chest. "Am I right?" she demanded.

"I don't -"

"You have the look of a guy who just got tossed on his ass," Charlie continued, "and it doesn't take three hours to eat a bowl of soup. How old are you, anyway?"

"Eighteen," Cas mumbled, staring down at the tabletop.

"Ok. So you're Dean's age. No biggie. Do you need a job? We could talk to our boss."

Cas looked up, and caught Dean's pretty eyes. There was no pity there; just something like understanding and concern. Dean nodded and smiled.

"I ran away."

"You did? Why?"

Taking a deep breath, Cas steeled himself for their reaction. "I'm gay. My parents don't want me around."

Charlie grinned brilliantly. "Well, hello gay! I'm lesbian. I have a two bedroom and my roommate just moved out and I just bought a car and I bet we could get Benny to hire you if you can cook or wait tables and he can put us on the same schedule and you can live with me and it will be like GLAAD all the time!" She took a big deep breath after that, and looked expectantly at Dean, who for his part, had his elbow on the table, chin resting on one hand while he played with a sugar packet with the other. Charlie nudged him hard, and he glowered at her.

"What?"

"Go get Benny. This kid needs a job. What's your name, by the way?"

"Castiel. But I go by Cas."

"Awesome. I'll go get Benny." Dean left the table, and Cas stared at Charlie.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because I've been there. It's hard being gay to begin with, but gay with no support? Not cool."

"So what, are you my self-designated gay sponsor?" he asked, a wry grin on his lips.

"Oh, very funny," she grinned back.

"Ok, ok, ok," a big man was led from the back, dragged across the diner by Dean.

"Benny, this is Cas. He's gay and homeless and needs a job!" Charlie explained.

Cas flinched at the bluntness of her words.

"Alrigh'. Guess I could use another busboy, since I want Dean to get more kitchen time in. Fine, you're hired."

"He needs to be on my schedule, 'cause he's gonna stay with me. Us gays need to stick together!" Charlie slammed her fist on the table.

"Fine. Come back with the crazy redhead tomorrow." Benny winked a bright blue eye at him, calling over his shoulder as he walked back to the kitchen, "welcome to the family, Cas!"

Dean and Charlie were both beaming at him, and Cas felt warm all over.

_Welcome to the family._ Maybe he hadn't run away from home.

Maybe he'd found it.


	3. Twilight Time

"Alrigh', now tuck your fingers under. I know it feels awkward, but it's a damn sight better than loppin' off a fingertip."

"You tell me that every time!" Dean grinned brilliantly at Benny and tucked the tips of his fingers, bringing the knife down on the onion. He made careful, perfect chops, just like Benny had taught him.

"There ya go. Perfect. Look at that. Now we got our trinity all ready, come over here and let's get the roux goin'." Benny set the bowl of perfectly diced celery, onion, and green pepper to the side, and pulled a heavy cast iron dutch oven to the front of the stove.

It was rainy Sunday afternoon. Benny was letting Gabe run the kitchen alone for the first time, and he was teaching Dean how to make gumbo in their little kitchen at home. Dean was a natural with a knife, so much so that it surprised Benny. A little instruction on proper cutting, and he was off to the races.

A damp breeze lifted the curtains in the kitchen window, as Benny showed Dean how to cook the flour and vegetable oil, stirring until the mixture was the color of a copper penny. "There. That's how you want it to look. Perfect. Now some people use bacon fat for the roux, and that is the more traditional way, but 'Drea don't like it like that. Says it's bad for my heart."

Dean chuckled and added the green pepper, onion, celery, and garlic.

"Laugh it up, kid. Wait 'til you get old! Now stir that 'round 'til the onions are a little see-through. Then toss in that andouille. Stir that a bit, then add the beef stock. I'm gonna get this here okra sliced up."

"Ok."

They worked in a companionable silence, Dean humming little snatches of song while he cooked.

The June afternoon was humid and breezy. It hadn't quite reached the typical oppressive humidity that was Baltimore in the summertime, but the promise was there. Rain pattered against the windowsill, while Benny and Dean made the kitchen smell like heaven.

"So kiddo," Benny began, tossing the okra into the pot, "Mr. Morris is about to sell that old Nova. He ain't askin' for much, and since you've already proven you're not half bad with a car, I was thinkin' maybe we could get that for ya. Birthday gift, y'know?"

Dean stopped dead in the middle of deveining a shrimp. "Benny, it's June. My birthday was in January."

"No, Dean Whoever-You-Used-To-Be had a birthday in January. Frank put June 21st on your new stuff. So I reckon we're celebrating a nineteenth birthday on June 21st."

Frowning, Dean looked back down at the shrimp. "I dunno, Benny. I'm only sixteen and a half. No one's going to buy that I'm eighteen, let alone nineteen."

"Yeah? Gabe thought you were twenty-one."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Huh." Dean finished with the shrimp, putting them in a bowl and back in the fridge to wait for the gumbo to finish. He pulled out a container of lump crabmeat and another bowl, sitting back at the table to pick out any shells left behind.

He and Benny worked quietly for a while. Dean finished the crabmeat and rolled pie crust for a pecan pie, while Benny kneaded dough for French baguettes. Benny watched Dean out of the corner of his eye, admiring the way Dean crimped the edges of the crust, carefully spooning the filling inside when he was done.

Dean had created his own version of pecan pie, making it taste even better with the addition of a salted caramel and chocolate drizzle. He seemed to have a natural knack for making things taste good.

"Never had a birthday party before," Dean said quietly.

Benny stopped dead, turning to look back at him. "Never?"

Dean shook his head.

"Ok, that tears it. You're havin' a damn birthday party. What do you want to do for it? Bowling? Movies? Rollerskatin'? Anythin' you want kid!"

"I um -" Dean's cheeks turned bright pink, "can I just have Charlie and Cas over? To spend the night? We could order pizza and watch _Star Wars_. I mean -" his face darkened. "That's a dumb idea. Nevermind."

"It's a great idea! That would be fun, and I'll make you a big old cake and we'll make popcorn. You can take the air mattress and all the extra pillows and blankets downstairs, and I'll keep you supplied with junk food all night. I'll even make a hell of a breakfast the next morning."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah!"

Dean smiled down at the table, a few strands of light brown hair slipping over his forehead. "That'd be so cool," he said. "I've never gotten to do anything like that."

"Makin' up for lost time, then." Benny turned back to the stove and checked the gumbo. "Alrigh', this needs to sit for a bit. Let's go talk to Mr. Morris about that Nova."

"Benny -"

"Nope. He makes me a good deal, and that girl's yours. Ok? No arguin'. Jus' say, ok Benny."

"Ok Benny," Dean parroted.

* * *

><p>Eddie Morris's Nova was black. He'd shined it up, and rain was beading on the surface. It was in pretty good shape, but Benny knew it needed some serious work under the hood.<p>

"Wow," Dean said quietly, a slightly forlorn look on his face. "It's a '67. And it's black. Wow."

Benny didn't know what the look on Dean's face meant. He looked impressed with the car; but at the same time, he looked rather sad as well.

"She's in really great shape," Eddie said, pulling open the driver's door. "She needs a lot of TLC under the hood, and the interior could stand to be freshened up, but it would make a good first car for someone willing to bust knuckles on her."

"I'd be willing to do that," Dean said, sliding behind the wheel. "Can I start her up?"

"Sure," Eddie handed him the keys.

Dean slid the key into the ignition and fired the starter. A rough sound greeted them, and Benny watched in fascination as Dean gunned the engine. He left the car running and popped the hood, reaching in to toy with several things in the engine compartment and making the car rev a few more times.

"Hmm. Pretty sure I know what's wrong with her. I can fix it."

"I have no doubt, Dean-o," Eddie smiled.

"Please don't call me that," Dean said quietly.

Eddie frowned. "Uh, sorry."

Dean nodded, and climbed back into the driver's seat.

"How much you want?" Benny asked.

"I was gonna ask 5k, but if it's for Dean - I dunno. 3k?"

"I can handle that," Benny grinned.

"You're awful good to this kid. I know he's been pretty well behaved, and he's definitely got manners, but how d'you know he's not gonna take advantage of you down the road?" Eddie asked as he closed the hood.

Benny smiled at Dean, oblivious to the scrutiny, sitting in the driver's seat and lovingly running his hands over the dash and steering wheel.

"Sometimes, you jus' know, brotha. You jus' know."

* * *

><p>"Ok, I brought the original <em>Star Wars<em> and all three _Indiana Jones_. So we have a good supply of Harrison Ford to keep us going all night. Which one is first, Birthday Boy?" Charlie grinned at Dean.

"I haven't seen any of those movies," Cas said idly, picking at a stain on the carpet.

"What?" Charlie and Dean both shrieked in indignation.

"I'm sorry, is there a law I wasn't aware of?"

Charlie sighed and threw a pillow at Cas. She picked up her much beloved copy of _A New Hope _and handed it to Dean. "Put that in. Let's get him started right."

Dean laughed and unfolded himself from the floor. "It's ok, Cas. We'll educate you."

"Whatever," Cas huffed, leaning back into Dean's beanbag chair.

Charlie reached for her bookbag, unpacking a pair of Wonder Woman jammies, bright rainbow socks, and a light blue shirt with _I know you are, but what am I? _emblazoned across the chest. "Ok, bitches, I'm going to go change. Be right back. Get that thing cued up and find the pizza!"

"Yes, my queen," Dean muttered, getting a little snort out of Cas.

Charlie didn't miss the look of pride that crossed Dean's face. He always considered it a victory if he could get Cas, the most serious of their little threesome, to laugh. She smiled indulgently at her two best friends as she closed Dean's bathroom door behind her.

When she reemerged, they were sitting on the floor, Dean showing Cas the Haynes manual Gabe had given him as a birthday gift. It was specific to late sixties Novas, and Dean had several pages earmarked. He was explaining the difference between an automatic and manual transmission, and Cas was paying close attention to every word out of Dean's mouth.

Cas approached pretty much everything with intense seriousness, but when it came to Dean, his attention was laser focused. Charlie was pretty sure Cas was nursing his first big crush on their mutual friend, and resolved to talk to him about it later.

She tossed her clothes back in her duffel and dropped a hand to her hip. Charlie looked around the basement and took in the nest of blankets and pillows piled up on the air mattress, saw a pile of junk food and sodas, but one vital ingredient was missing.

"Where's the pizza?"

"Righ' here, your highness. Hold your horses!" Benny descended the steps to the basement, three pizza boxes in hand. "Veggie for the queen," he announced, handing her one box, "meat lovers for the birthday boy, and bacon cheeseburger for the - for the -" Benny frowned. "What am I calling you, Cas?"

Cas snatched the pizza box out of Benny's hand. "Starving," he declared, yanking the lid open.

"Works for me," Benny chuckled, tossing a roll of paper towels on the air mattress. "Don't forget to clean up after yourselves."

"We won't," Dean assured him, digging into his own box. "Hey, Benny?"

"Yup?"

"Thanks," Dean's eyes sparkled as he smiled up at Benny.

"Aw, you're welcome, kiddo. Have a good night you three!"

Dean hit the play button, and the three of them devoured the pizza while the Rebels fought the Empire. Cas watched closely, with that look Charlie had come to know as his 'taking notes' face. Dean had set his pizza box aside, and was half asleep on the air mattress. His eyes lazily tracked the Millennium Falcon as Han piloted her around the Death Star, almost at the end of the movie.

Hmm. This was supposed to be a birthday party, and Benny had confided to her that it was likely Dean's first one_ ever_. It could not possibly be allowed to be this boring.

"Dude. We need cake and ice cream!"

"What are we, four?" Cas retorted drily.

"It's a birthday party! Cake and ice cream!" Charlie jumped off of Dean's bed, landing in the middle of the air mattress and shooting Dean off the other side.

"Ow!" he hollered indignantly.

"You can't pass out at your own birthday! Not when we've only watched one lousy movie, haven't had birthday cake, and you haven't opened my present!"

Dean groaned from his position on the floor. "You're entirely too perky, you know that? I was almost asleep."

"Exactly! Who goes to sleep at a slumber party?!"

"The very definition of slumber is sleeping."

"Shut up, Cas! I mean, we haven't even played truth or dare!"

"What's truth or dare?"

Both Cas and Charlie stared at Dean.

"You don't know what truth or dare is?" Cas asked incredulously.

"Uh, no?" Dean's cheeks bloomed bright pink.

"Ok, Charlie, we're playing truth or dare," Cas declared, a mischievous twinkle in his bright blue eyes.

"Excellent." Charlie shut off the TV and helped Cas rearrange all the pillows and blankets. "You can ask me the first question, Mr. Novak."

"Hmm," Cas tapped his chin, "truth or dare, Miss Bradbury?"

"Truth," Charlie grinned.

"What the strangest thing you've even done in the nude?"

"Ooh! I painted my kitchen in the nude!"

"Really?" Cas asked with a grin.

"Yeah! I didn't want to ruin my clothes, so I did it in the buff!"

"That's fantastic."

"Cas, truth or dare?"

"First round, hmm, truth!"

"Ok," Charlie grinned, "have you ever committed a crime?"

Cas laughed. "I stole a pack of gum from 7-11 when I was six. I was a criminal mastermind. Blamed my brother for it."

Charlie laughed, imagining a six year old Cas on the lam with his gum.

"Ok, Dean? Truth or dare?"

Dean had been watching the entire exchange, knees pulled up to his chest. He looked extremely uncomfortable, but answered with, "uh, truth? I guess?"

"Ok. Are you still a virgin?"

His face flamed, and he stared down at the floor. He seemed to fold in on himself, pulling his limbs in tight against his body. "No," he whispered.

Charlie's heart clenched. The expression on Dean's face was horrifying. He was clearly upset, and not for the first time, Charlie wondered what had happened to him to make one little question turn him into a beaten dog.

"Uh, maybe we should put another movie on. What's next? _The Empire Strikes Back_?" Cas held up the video, a fake smile plastered on.

"Yeah, that's the next one. I'll open the Doritos," Charlie said brightly, reaching for the bag.

A door closed behind them, as Dean locked himself in the bathroom. The fan turned on, but even with the noise, they could hear the muffled sound of Dean crying. Cas looked at Charlie with wide eyes.

"Shit," Cas murmured. "What did we do?"

"I don't know! There's still so much I don't know about him. Oh crap, Cas, I think we hit a nerve! Shit, we made him cry at his own birthday party!" Charlie's own eyes filled with tears.

"Dammit. I just wanted him to have fun. He deserves it."

"Me, too. Oh crap, we fucked up."

Charlie and Cas sat quietly, waiting for Dean to come out of the bathroom. Five minutes passed; ten; fifteen. Charlie wondered if Cas was feeling as guilty as she was.

"Maybe we should get Benny?" Cas asked softly.

"No. I'm ok." Dean rubbed at his eyes, standing in the open door of the bathroom. His eyes were bright red, the lids swollen, and his face was flushed.

"Dean, I'm so sorry!" Charlie wiped at her own eyes.

"It's ok. You didn't know. I um," he rubbed at eyes again, "I didn't exactly have an easy life before I came here."

"Do you want to talk about it? Charlie and I will listen."

"Maybe someday. But not tonight. Ok? Let's just - not tonight."

"Ok." Cas turned back to the TV, sliding the cassette into the player. "Back to _Star Wars_."

Dean sat back down in the middle of the air mattress, pulling a blanket around him. Cas settled next to him, pressing their shoulders together. Charlie slid off the bed and onto the mattress; sitting on Dean's other side. Dean leaned into her slightly, and dropped his head to her shoulder.

She smiled, and wrapped an arm around his back.

_A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…_

* * *

><p>"Table three needs a bus," Charlie yelled, banging into the kitchen. "Get on it, Novak!" She grabbed the cheeseburger Dean was holding out and stormed back out of the kitchen.<p>

"Bossy," Cas muttered, grabbing a fresh bus tray. "I hate Friday nights."

"Oh, c'mon. It's not that bad."

"Says the guy that gets to cook."

Dean grinned as he flipped a burger patty. "Aw, don't be jealous, Cas. Next week, it's Fourth of July! Goin' down the ocean, hon!"

"Yeah, some of us are going down the ocean. I have to work!"

"I thought Benny said you could have off?" Dean frowned.

"Did he? I'm on the schedule…"

"I'll talk to him."

Charlie stuck her head in the order window. "Table three! We're backing up out here!"

Cas sighed and Dean chuckled. "Easier to give her what she wants," he smiled.

"Yeah, yeah." Cas pushed through the kitchen door, ignoring Charlie's death stare. He cleared table three, walked across the dining room and cleared table fifteen, snagging table twenty-two on the way back.

He walked back to the kitchen, handing off the tray to the kid washing dishes, then grabbed another tray and went back to the dining room.

"Castiel?"

Startled, Cas looked up.

His brother was sitting in the first booth by the door.

"Michael," Cas mumbled. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm on a date," he replied haughtily. "And you? Do you actually work in this dump?"

"Interesting 'dump' to bring a date to," Cas shot back. "Excuse me."

He turned from the booth, shoving open the kitchen door.

"Hey, you ok?" Dean asked.

"Need a minute."

Cas dropped the tray near the dishwashing area and slammed through the back door, dropping defeatedly on the last step. He fished a nearly flattened pack of cigarettes from his work pants.

"Since when do you smoke?"

"Leave me alone, Dean."

Dean didn't listen, plopping down on the steps next to Cas. "Look," he pointed up to the sky, "that's the big dipper."

Cas snorted. "The big dipper is sitting in the diner." He gave up on the cigarettes and tossed them on the lot. "You're right. I don't smoke."

"Who's the big dipper?"

"My brother Michael is in there. Claims to be on a date."

"Oh."

"Yeah. He was one of the loudest voices when I came out. He's the one that said since I'd never been kissed or anything, I couldn't possibly be gay. A real winner."

"Never been kissed? Nothing? Not even first base?"

"Never found anyone worth sharing that with. I'd want it to be special, not just some random moment. I dunno. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I want to fall in love and have all that magic -" Cas trailed off, staring down at the toes of his shoes. "I sound like an idiot."

"No, you don't."

"Thanks."

They sat quietly for a bit, staring up at the stars.

"How'd you know?"

"What?"

Dean scratched his knee. "That you were - y'know -"

"Gay?"

"Mmhmm."

"I just, I always pictured falling in love with a boy someday." Cas shrugged. "Girls never held any appeal at all."

"Oh." Dean fell quiet beside him, and they sat on the metal steps in the humid, end of June night. Cars passed by, heading up Holabird towards the city.

A loud rumble sounded as several classic cars pulled into the lot. They were owned by a small car club that frequented the diner on Friday nights during the summer, and it was shine and chrome for as far as the eye could see.

"I see the boys are back," Benny remarked, stepping out onto the steps.

Cas looked over at Dean, enjoyed the wide-eyed look of pleasure on his friend's face as he watched the cars pull into the lot.

"Look, Cas - that's a '55 Bel Air. And a '57 T-Bird! That red is amazing. That white one's a '72 Corvette!"

Benny chuckled. "Go on, go take a peek. Show off your Nova while you're at it."

"Naw," Dean said, cheeks glowing pink. He stood and looked over at the other side of the lot, where his car sat next to Charlie's yellow Gremlin. "She's not there yet," he said with a fond smile, "not just yet."

Another loud engine caught his attention, and Dean's head whirled around. A big boat of a car was pulling into the lot. It was a two door, fire engine red convertible. The car was almost as long as the '55 and the '57 put together.

"Wow. Nice Impala. Ain't seen that one here before. What year is that, Dean? '65? '68?"

"It's a '67," Dean whispered. Cas looked up at Dean, surprised by the tone in his voice. Dean's face was white under the streetlights, and he looked - _terrified_.

Dean stumbled back up the stairs and vanished into the kitchen.

"What the hell jus' happened?" Benny asked Cas.

"I don't know. That was - odd." Cas pulled himself to his feet and stared up at Benny. "Did that car upset him?"

"Hell if I know," Benny dropped tiredly onto the stairs, in the seat Dean had just vacated. "Swear, every time I think I got him figured out." He sighed, pulled off his ball cap and scratched his head. "Jus' don't know, kiddo."

"Benjamin Lafitte, what the hell did you do to that boy?"

"Aw, 'Drea, I didn't do anything. A car pulled in the lot, and he got real upset and took off. I didn't do a damn thing."

"Well," she complained, tossing her dark braid over her shoulder, "he just bolted through the kitchen and into the bathroom, lookin' like he was gonna vomit. You sure you ain't got nothin' to do with that?"

"I'll go check on him," Cas volunteered, not wanting to get in the middle of one of the Lafitte's famous arguments. For a couple that clearly loved each other dearly, they could have some pretty amazing arguments.

"I dunno if that's a good idea -"

Cas didn't hear the rest of Benny's statement, as he walked through the kitchen and out to the dining room.

Ignoring both Charlie's and Michael's stares, he walked across the diner to the bathroom.

"Dean?" he called softly, pushing the door open, "are you in here?"

"Go 'way, Cas," was whispered from the stall on the far end.

Cas leaned against the wall next to it. "I'd rather not. You kinda freaked us out, and now everyone's worried."

Dean sniffled.

"Are you crying?"

"So what if I am?" Dean muttered. "You the crying police?"

"No." Cas slid down the wall, sitting on the floor outside the stall. He tried not to think about the germs he was likely perched on. "But I am your friend, at least I'd like to think so, and I'm worried about you. I've only seen you lose your shit over one other thing and that was the truth or dare question last weekend. I'm worried about you. What was it about that car, Dean?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But that's just it. You never want to talk about it. You seem to think I'd stop being your friend or something. It's not like that. I know something horrible has happened to you. I know you're not from around here. The slight twang in your voice tells me that. But, I also know you are one of the kindest people I've ever known." Cas snorted, "Hell, you proved that the night we met. Remember that hot chocolate? I was freezing and wet, and all I had money for was a small cup of soup. But you brought me a hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream. That one small gesture made one hell of an impression. I'm proud to call you my friend. And I'd be proud to help you carry whatever's breaking your back."

Dean didn't say anything, but the latch on the door opened. Cas looked up at his friend. Dean's bright green eyes were wet and red. The red and green combination made a startling contrast, and Cas was once again reminded of how handsome Dean was.

Not that he ever forgot.

"I um," Dean sighed. "The car just - it reminded me -" he sniffled, and swiped at his nose. "Cas, my dad was not a real nice guy. But he had a great car. And I called that car home for most of my life. It was a black, four-door '67 Impala. And I always thought she'd be mine someday. So seeing that red one - I dunno. It just, it hurt. That's all." Dean walked to the sink and opened the taps, catching cold water in his hands and splashing it on to his face.

Sure that Dean wasn't telling the whole story, but unwilling to push him further, Cas got up and walked across the room. When Dean turned, he wrapped his arms tight around him. Dean tensed at first, his body rigid, but seemed to just sag into the hug after a moment. His arms came up, wrapping around Cas's waist.

"Thank you," he whispered in Cas's ear. "I think I needed this."

"Well, I will give you one whenever you want."

Dean chuckled. "Ok."

"No, I promise. Hugs. Whenever you want."

"Yeah, ok," Dean giggled. "You're a dork."

"Yes, I am."

They stood in the men's room, holding tight to each other.

"Sometimes, I might need one, too," Cas said quietly. "Especially when family members that hate me pop up at my workplace."

"Oh. Well, I promise to give you a hug whenever you need one."

"Good. I appreciate that."

The hugged a minute more.

"Cas?"

"Hmm?" Cas had his head on Dean's shoulder, and had unconsciously started swaying in time with _Twilight Time_ piping through the speakers.

"Are we dancing?"

"Maybe."

"_Here in the afterglow of day, we keep our rendezvous beneath the blue. Here in the sweet and same old way, I fall in love again as I did then."_

They really were dancing now. Cas's hand had slipped down to the small of Dean's back, and he gently rocked Dean in a circle around the floor of the men's room.

"Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"This is weird."

"Yes."

"_Deep in the dark your kiss will thrill me like days of old, lighting the spark of love that fills me with dreams untold. Each day I pray for evening just to be with you, together at last at twilight time. Together, at last at twilight time."_

The song ended and Cas finally stopped. "I think we've reached the slightly awkward stage," he mumbled, not looking into Dean's eyes.

"Nah. It was - it was nice."

"You're just being nice."

"So what if I am?"

The door creaked open. "Y'all alrigh' in there?"

"Yeah, Benny, we're good."

"Good. Maybe y'all can get back to work?"

Dean chuckled. "Yup, we can do that." He pulled out of Cas's arms and left the bathroom.

Cas watched him leave. He was annoyed that Benny had interrupted them, but couldn't for the life of him figure out why. All he knew was, that was the most enjoyable hug he'd ever had.

And Cas hoped there'd be another one soon.


	4. The Graduate

_Unbetaed_

* * *

><p>Benny and Andrea sent Dean, Cas, and Charlie off to Ocean City on July 3rd, and told them not to come back until the fifth at the earliest. Benny took Charlie aside and made it very clear that she was not to abuse her status as the only over twenty-one in the group. No alcohol, he told her, both of the boys were too young.<p>

They rolled back into town on the seventh, and Benny was none too happy about the little rainbow hearts the three of them were now sporting on the inside of their left wrists.

Charlie explained that it was a tattoo of solidarity, and Cas and Dean just grinned and looked sheepish.

Summer was hot and miserable, and Benny made it a point to send the kids to the beach as much as possible - with instructions to stay out of the tattoo parlors.

By the end of August, Charlie and Cas were both enrolled at Dundalk Community College. Charlie was taking courses to further her computer knowledge, and Cas was working on general education classes until he figured out what he wanted to major in.

Dean was like the younger sibling left behind while they were in class, staring woefully out the windows of diner while he worked, living for the moment Charlie's yellow Gremlin brought his friends home.

"You should get your GED," Benny told him one afternoon.

Dean was working his way through a cheeseburger, sitting alone at the counter. He looked lost and more than a little lonely.

"What?"

"GED. High School diploma thingie. Then maybe you can take some classes with Cas an' Charlie."

"I'm not the smart one," Dean snorted, "Sa-," he paused, and stared down at his plate. "I'm not the smart one," he mumbled again.

"I don't know 'bout that. You picked up on cookin' like you've been doin' it your whole life. I think you oughta least give it a shot."

"What if I try and I fall flat on my face?" Dean asked softly, pushing his plate away.

"I don't think you will. I think you'll do just fine. But if you fail, I won't think any different. You'll still be my boy, and I'll still love ya."

Dean looked up, wonder in his eyes. It was that expression he got anytime Benny said something like that, and it hurt to know that Dean had been deprived of unconditional love. Benny and Andrea were determined to make up for lost time on that front.

"Look. Talk to Cas an' Charlie, and see what they think. Bet they'd help you study and everthin'."

"I dunno."

"Hi, Dean," a soft voice called.

Following the source of the voice, Dean's face turned bright red. "Uh, hey Lisa," he muttered, staring down at the countertop.

Lisa reached into the order window for the plates Gabe was sending her way. She flicked her dark ponytail over her shoulder, and grinned back at Dean, brown eyes sparkling.

"How's your firs' week goin'?"

"Pretty good. You and Andrea are great bosses. Makes my life easier." She hefted the tray of food and cast another pretty smile Dean's way, not that he seemed to notice. "Talk later, Dean."

"Yup. Ok, that'd - that'd be cool. Cool," Dean stammered and scratched at the back of his neck.

Lisa walked away, unperturbed by his fumbling, and Dean hastily cleaned up his lunch. He hurried into the kitchen like his ass was on fire.

"Smooth, kid, real smooth," Benny sighed, grabbing a rag and wiping down the counter.

Four o'clock rolled around and Charlie and Cas came through the door. Dean's whole face lit up, as he quickly finished the pancakes he was cooking and plopped them on a plate.

"Hola, handmaiden!" Charlie bellowed across the diner, making several patrons wince.

Cas just smiled and waved, weaving his way through the tables to the kitchen door.

"Were we busy today?" he asked, taking his apron from Dean.

"Not really. I told Dean he should get his GED," Benny grinned, knowing that the other two would convince Dean.

Dean knew it too, judging by the glare being directed his way.

"Ooh, yeah, that'd be sweet! Then you could take classes and stuff. You should totally go for it!" Charlie crowed, reaching out to ruffle Dean's hair.

"I'll help you study," Cas said softly, turning his back to Dean so he could help him with his apron strings.

"Me, too!"

"Yeah? You guys really think I can do it?"

"I know you can," Charlie said as she pinned on her name tag. "You're super smart. Heck, you could probably get away with just taking the test, but we'll study with you and get you extra super smart so you can go in there and just blow them away with your deadly knowledge." She mimicked an explosion with her hands, winked, grabbed a tray, and disappeared to the dining room.

"That girl's got a few screws loose," Benny muttered under his breath.

Not that anyone was paying attention to him.

Dean and Cas were talking, heads tilted towards each other. Cas was definitely reassuring Dean that he could do it, and that he was smart enough. With each affirmation, Dean's resistance seemed to be melting, and by Monday, Dean was signed up for GED classes at DCC. He left the diner every day at noon, returning in the afternoon with Charlie and Cas.

In the evenings, when they were slow, Benny would often find Cas and Dean sitting together in a booth in the reception room. Dean hung on Cas's every word, paying close attention to the tutoring Cas was giving him. They sat so close together, there was almost no space between them, with Dean's light brown head tilted towards Cas's darker one.

"Ever think there might be somethin' there?" Andrea asked him one night. The two of them stood unseen by the boys, in the kitchen doorway.

"Aw, they's jus' good friends. That's all. 'Sides, I think Dean's got somethin' for Lisa."

"Hmm. Mark my words, Benjamin Lafitte. Those two?" She gestured fondly towards Dean and Cas. "That's a lifetime sittin' right there." Andrea stood on her tip toes, kissed his cheek, and left him with a lot to think about.

* * *

><p>"You're going to ace this test."<p>

"She's right. You're going to own it."

"And then you'll be all edumacated and can take some real classes."

"Stop biting your nails, it's going to be fine. Ok? Seriously, get that hand out of your mouth." Cas reached into the back seat and physically pulled Dean's hand away from his teeth.

"Dammit, Cas."

"Don't chew up your nails!"

"Boys," Charlie said imperiously, feeling almost like a mom or something, "behave or I will turn this car around."

"Good," Dean muttered.

She looked in the rearview mirror. Dean was tense, almost green, and now he was chewing on his bottom lip instead of his nails. "Dean, you're going to kick ass, ok? We've been over that material a half a dozen times and you're totally going to ace this!"

"I'm going to hurl."

"Don't be dramatic."

"No, Charlie, pull over, I'm going to be sick!"

Complying immediately, Charlie pulled off the road. Cas got out of the car and held the seat for Dean, who stumbled out, hit his knees, and was violently ill on the grass.

"I can't do this," he muttered, shifting to his butt from his knees and leaning back against the Gremlin.

"You can, I swear it," Cas murmured, stepping around the vomit and kneeling down beside him.

"We've gone through that material a thousand times. You've got this, Dean. And Cas and I will be just outside, waiting for you. I know you can do this." Charlie reached out and put her hands on Dean's cheeks, tilting his face up so she could look him in the eye. "I believe in you," she said softly.

"I do too," Cas added. "You can do anything. And you can definitely do this."

Dean stared up at them both, green eyes tracking both of their faces. "You really think so?"

"Definitely," they confirmed in unison.

"Ok," Dean sighed. "Ok." He pulled himself upright, leaning on Cas. "I can do this. And you'll wait for me? Promise?"

"Absolutely."

"We wouldn't leave you for anything." Charlie gently steered him back to the car, and this time, Cas climbed in the back. "Let's do this, posse!"

Ten minutes later, they were at the testing center and Dean was signed in. He looked back at them, nervousness written all over his pale face, before disappearing into the testing room.

"Here goes nothing," Charlie sighed, dropping into a chair. "Hope to hell he doesn't freeze and blow it. He'll never forgive himself."

"I know." Cas sat down next to her. "I want him to come out smiling. I want to take him out for a celebration afterwards."

"I can't wait 'til you two are twenty-one, then we can do all the fun stuff. It's hard being the oldest sometimes."

"So old. Wow, at twenty-three, you're practically ancient."

"Shut up."

Cas giggled. "What did you do when you turned twenty-one?"

"God. I was in my senior year at MIT -"

"MIT?" Cas sat up and stared at her. "_The_ MIT?"

"Yup."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"What I want to do, instead of what I'm expected to do," Charlie said firmly.

Slumping back in the chair, Cas let out a heavy sigh. "I get that, believe me."

"Anyway, I was at MIT, and a bunch of us decided to get wasted and play with the robots. We may have started a teensy fire."

"Just a teensy one?" Cas asked with a grin.

Charlie smiled, remembering how angry the robotics professor had been. "Yup. Teensy. Also? The robotics prof totally deserved it, the damn misogynistic asswipe."

"I love you, Charlie. Wish I could have seen you, handing out the ass-kickings and sticking it to the man."

"Hey, I'm a feminist with a capital F, what can I say?" Charlie stared down at her hands, picking absent mindedly at a cuticle.

"Do you think Dean's really nineteen?" Cas asked softly.

"He says he is. His license says he is."

"But we know so little about him…"

"Does it matter? Would you be any less in love with him?"

"What?!" Cas sat straight up in the chair again, staring at her with his mouth open.

"At least admit to the crush. That's pretty obvious."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Charlie grinned, leaning back in her own chair. She crossed her arms behind her head. "Oh please. You're so into Dean it's painful."

"Whatever."

"Don't sulk. I think it's cute."

"You're an ass." Cas crossed his arms over his chest and glowered. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about. Dean is my friend and nothing more. Besides," he added softly, the tension in his body releasing, "we don't know what he's been through. I don't know that he'd welcome any attention like that from me. I don't know if he even likes boys. He seems interested in Lisa."

"Everyone's interested in Lisa. And she's too old for him. So is Cassie, and so is goddamn Rhonda."

"You said that -"

"I know what I said. But no, I don't think he's really nineteen. Y'know, when I first started at the diner, there was this old white haired guy. He met with Dean and Benny in private and Benny gave the dude a hella lot of money. How much you wanna bet it was for a fake ID or something? Shit, there's so much we don't know about Dean, but I've always gotten the impression that Benny was helping him hide from someone."

"Odd. I know he's had a rough relationship with his real dad. You weren't at work the night the car set him off, were you?"

"I had tables, but yeah, I heard about it." Charlie sorted through her memories Dean, of things he'd done and said, and she didn't like the picture that was forming. "I worry about him all the time, Cas," she said softly. "I'm scared we're gonna wake up one day and he's going to be gone. And I don't mean left-town-gone."

"Same."

They lapsed into silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Time ticked away, and an hour passed slowly.

"Sixteen," Cas said out of nowhere.

"What?"

"Dean. I bet he's only sixteen."

"No way. He's got to be older than that."

Cas shook his head. "He's still so fresh-faced. Sixteen. And I bet his birthday's not really in June."

"I dunno. If he wants to tell us, he will."

"I'm dying to know, Charlie. I want to know everything. But -"

"You won't push him."

"No. I would never do that to him."

They fell silent again, quietly waiting for Dean to finish his test. A short time later, people started filing out of the testing room, some smiling, some looking distressed.

Dean was the last one out, and he couldn't hide the huge grin on his face. "I did great!" he exclaimed, the second he saw them. "I won't have the results for a while yet, but I breezed right through it, and I felt like I really knew the material!"

"That's great!" Charlie shrieked, grabbing him and pulling him into a hug. She reached for Cas and pulled him into the hug too.

"Great job!"

"We knew you could do it!"

"Thanks guys. I'm glad you didn't let me chicken out."

"No chance. Now let's go get something to eat, handmaiden. Your Queen is famished."

"Diner?"

"Diner!"

* * *

><p>It was a pretty jubilant threesome that rowdily stormed the diner that afternoon, and once Benny heard the news, he had to announce it to the whole place. Gabe smiled as Dean's freckled cheeks turned bright pink.<p>

"Gabe! A big bacon cheeseburger for my returnin' hero!" Andrea yelled through the window, and Dean blushed all the more.

Gabe dropped several patties and a heap of bacon on the grill, knowing Cas would want a burger too. He made a grilled ham and cheese for Charlie, passing all the plates through the window when they were done. Lisa picked all of them up, and he shot her his patented Gabe Milton lady-killer grin. Not that she noticed.

Gabe took a break and stepped out into the dining room to have a Coke. He watched Lisa deliver the plates to the kids, and didn't miss the way she smiled down at Dean, paying extra attention to him. Charlie didn't miss it either, and didn't seem the least bit impressed.

He chuckled and went back to the kitchen.

"What're you laughin' about?" Benny asked, as he pushed through the door.

"The ladies in this place. They all want to sleep with Dean. I got no game here, boss."

"Huh. They're all too old for him."

"Really? Lisa's twenty, Rhonda's twenty-one, and Cassie's nineteen - which I'd like to point out makes her his age. So unless you know something I don't know," and Gabe would bet on that horse in a second, "they're all eligible."

"Hmmph," Benny groused, "I don't think he's interested anyway."

"Really?" Gabe said again, looking out the order window. "I think you might be off about that."

Benny followed his gaze to where Dean was sitting.

Lisa had pulled up a chair next to him, and was contentedly stealing fries off his plate. Dean was blushing in that adorable way of his, smiling shyly at her, but he was definitely pleased with the attention.

Charlie, however, had a face like a thundercloud, and Cas was pointedly looking at everything but Dean and Lisa.

"See what I mean?"

"They're jus' flirtin'. I don't think Dean's ready for datin' anyways."

"Why?" Gabe asked eagerly. "He's a healthy young man."

"I dunno. Jus' he's been through so much and -" Benny stopped dead. "Why don't you mind your own damn business and get back to cookin'?"

Gabe held his hands up in surrender. "Sure boss, no problem."

"Good." Benny grabbed a whole caramel pecan pie and left the kitchen.

This was, by far, the most exciting place Gabe had ever worked.

And if he could just get one of these ladies to give him the time of day, it would be the _best_ place he'd ever worked.

* * *

><p>Dean passed his exam with a 92% and Benny was so happy he Xeroxed a copy of the results and hung it behind the front counter, much to Dean's embarrassment. Lisa kissed him on the cheek and Dean turned bright red.<p>

It would have been cute, if not for Charlie and her damn mouth and her rambling on about certain people having crushes on other certain people.

Cas skulked around the outside edge of the graduation party Andrea and Benny threw for Dean. They'd closed the diner early on a Monday night, strung up decorations, and invited everyone they knew. Dean was overwhelmed by all the attention, and downright shocked by the pile of gifts. Some of their regulars were in attendance, and all of the staff.

Lisa was being her lovely, bubbly self, and that's what made it the hardest. Cas couldn't bring himself to hate her. She was sweet, and kind, and of course she was beautiful. She only had eyes for Dean, and while embarrassed, he seemed to enjoy the attention.

"You going to let her get away with that?"

"Nothing I can do," Cas hissed at Charlie. "He's happy. I want him to be happy. Besides -"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't like him like that. Whatever." Charlie stalked off to talk to one of the other waitresses.

Cas put down his punch and slipped through the kitchen door, through the kitchen, and out to the back steps. He dropped onto the top step, shivering in the November chill.

Hard to believe it was almost Thanksgiving. It'd been nearly a year since he came out to his parents, kicking off the most miserable holiday season he'd ever had. He'd lasted until April, when the harassment and cruelty at the hands of his brothers had reached a boiling point, and he'd ended up here, at Benny's.

Benny's was home now. This mismatched little group of people was his family. There was no judgment, no cruelty, just the love and caring one should find within the bonds of family.

"Hey," Dean greeted him, as he joined him on the stairs. "It's cold out here. Why aren't you inside?"

"Too many people," Cas answered honestly. He'd never been a big fan of crowds.

"I can agree with you there. Everyone keeps coming up to congratulate me, and I just want to go home and watch _Star Trek_, maybe eat another piece of pie."

Cas chuckled softly. "You and your pie."

"Pie is awesome."

They sat quietly for a while. It seemed they always ended up there, sitting on the stairs while they tried to figure out the big issues in life. Cas was surprised to realize how much he enjoyed this. Sitting quietly with Dean was one of his favorite things.

"So uh, Lisa asked me out."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I told her not right now. Maybe later. I don't want to - I dunno. I don't think I'm cut out for dating. Did you know she has a kid? Ben. He's one."

"I didn't know that. She's really young for a child."

"Yeah."

The conversation died again, and Cas started to fidget on the cold metal stairs.

"Wanna come over and watch_ Star Trek_? I've got a couple of tapes with TNG on them."

"Which season?"

"Season three."

"Ok. As long as you don't make me watch _Ménage à Troi_ again."

"Aw, man! That's a great episode!"

"Ferengi are creepy."

"But Picard goes all Shakespeare. It's funny. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" Dean stood and hopped off the stairs. He clasped his hand over his heart and stared imploringly up at Cas. "Thou art more lovely, more temperate," he giggled, unable to keep up the farce.

"C'mon, idiot. Let's go."

"That ear thing is weird though."

"C'mon!" Cas grabbed his arm. "Go get your keys, let's go."

"Alright, alright!" Dean bounded up the steps, turning back to look down at Cas. "You're awesome, you know that?" he grinned. Dean turned and vanished into the kitchen.

Cas couldn't help the feeling of warmth that bubbled up inside him.

"Awesome," he murmured to himself. "I'm awesome."

"Ready?" Dean bounced back out the back door, shutting it firmly behind him. He handed Cas his coat and slipped his own on. "Wanna hit Taco Bell first?"

"Yes. Let's just get a bunch of crunchy tacos with lots of sour cream."

"Hell, yes." Dean unlocked the Nova, climbed in, and reached across to unlock Cas's door. He fired up the car, and she roared in response.

"Is she supposed to sound like this?" Cas asked loudly.

"Naw. I got an exhaust leak. Can't afford to fix her at the moment, but I'll get there, won't I Baby?" Dean fondly patted her dash.

"It's just a car," Cas muttered, as Dean maneuvered the Nova out of the lot.

"It's not just a car, it's my car," Dean grinned, "and that makes her special right there."

"Ok, fine. Taco Bell!"

A couple of hours later, they were curled up on Dean's bed, surrounded by empty taco wrappers and two giant soda cups. Dean had zonked out about ten minutes prior, and Cas was steadily drooping. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke to the sounds of a staticy television.

Cas sat up in Dean's bed, wondering why the fairly quiet noise of the TV had woken him.

"No, please -" Dean whispered.

Turning, Cas saw Dean's face in the low light from the snowy TV.

Dean's brow was furrowed, beads of sweat forming on his cheeks and upper lip. His hair was damp and plastered to his head, and his fingers were gripping the sheets, knuckles white.

"No. Dad, no, please, don't. Don't! _NO!" _Dean screamed.

"Dean, it's ok. It's ok, wake up," Cas shook him gently with a hand on his heaving chest. "Wake up, Dean! Wake up!"

Dean woke with a gasp, eyes wide and terrified. He was shaking, and Cas could feel his heart pounding underneath his palm.

"C-cas? Shit," Dean rubbed at his eyes. "Shit. What time is it?"

"After two."

"Shit."

"Dean, it's ok. It was just a nightmare."

Squirming, Dean pulled himself into a sitting position and reached for the bedside lamp. "I'm sorry. I can - I can get dressed. I can take you home. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have - I shouldn't have -" His movements were jerky and uncoordinated, his confusion and disorientation obvious on his face.

"Dean. It's ok. I swear. It was a nightmare. It's ok. You're ok, and I'm right here."

"Such a baby," Dean muttered, staring down at his hands.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Swinging his legs out of the bed, Dean stood and headed to the bathroom. "What do you think?" he asked, before shutting the door firmly.

Cas sighed. He shifted in the bed and reached for the empty Taco Bell bag on the floor, irritably stuffing all the empty wrappers inside as the shower switched on.

Dean was probably crying in there, muffling the sound of his tears under the running water. It had started out as such a good night, too.

He'd put on his shoes and coat and was sitting on the bed by the time Dean came out, dressed in a baggy pair of sweats and a tee. He froze when he saw Cas sitting on his bed.

"You put your coat on."

"Yes."

"Oh. I was kinda hoping -" he trailed off.

"What?"

"I know I acted like a jerk, but I um, I don't," he sniffled, "don't really want to be alone. Those nightmares - they shake me up pretty bad, Cas. But if you want to go home, I'll take you."

"Nah. Just lend me a pair of sweats, ok? Would rather not sleep in my jeans."

Dean smiled and pulled another pair from the dresser and tossed them at Cas. "Do you want me to get the air mattress?"

"I don't mind if you don't."

"Ok."

Cas shucked his coat, shoes, and jeans and pulled the worn sweats on while Dean got back in bed. Cas switched the light off and climbed in beside him.

They lay side by side, both on their backs and staring at the ceiling.

"Thank you," Dean said finally, his voice small.

"For what?"

"For being my friend." Dean rolled to his side, his back to Cas. It wasn't long before his breathing evened out, and Cas knew he'd fallen asleep.

He stayed awake for some time, staring at the ceiling and listening to Dean breathe.


	5. Worse Than I Thought

_Warnings abound on this chapter. Rape/NonCon, Mentions of Child Abuse, Violence, and Drinking/Underaged Drinking. Proceed with caution. Feel free to message me if you need more detail before reading. _

* * *

><p>Three years went by in the blink of an eye. Three years of Dean living in the basement and Benny and Andrea becoming so comfortable with him that they'd stopped locking the basement door by the end of the first year.<p>

Cas was a junior at Loyola, working on a major in Political Science. He planned to go to law school next. Cas wanted to save the world and promote equality, and thought being a lawyer was the best way to go about it.

Charlie was fooling around with the internet. Benny didn't understand 90% of the stuff that came out of her mouth, but their computerized ordering system ran beautifully now. She was always talking about bytes and bits, and he just had no clue whatsoever.

Dean, much to Benny's chagrin, chose not to go any further with his education. He seemed happy to be at the diner, cooking alongside Gabe and Benny. He fooled with ingredients quite a bit, creating new concoctions for his friends to try. If they liked them, Benny would list it as a manager's special for a week. In the last few years, several of those manager's specials had become regular menu items.

Dean was a natural in the kitchen. He had a killer instinct for what would taste good and nine times out of ten, his experiments were insanely delicious.

He and Lisa had been dating for almost six months by the time Dean turned twenty-one. At least, when the world though he turned twenty-one. In reality, he'd just turned nineteen, but to the world, he was of legal drinking age.

The Nova was running beautifully, and Dean kept her waxed to the highest shine possible. He'd bought himself a new television and stereo system for his room, and he, Charlie, and Cas spent a lot of time down there. The three of them were just as inseparable as ever.

Dean helped out around the house, too. He did chores, and took out the garbage every Monday night. He did his own laundry, and mopped the kitchen floor every week. Dean kept up with the dishes, too, and many times, Benny and Andrea came home from work to find Dean putting dinner on the table. Benny had long since stopped thinking of Dean as the stray they'd taken in.

No, Dean was his son. In every way but blood.

"What time do you think you'll be home, sugar?" Andrea's voice carried back into the kitchen through the order window. Benny pushed open the kitchen door and watched the two of them.

They were easily the two people he loved most in the world.

Dean was standing still while she fussed with his hair and tie. "Uh, probably not before midnight. I'll be quiet."

"Not that, jus' like to know where you are, sweetie." She ran her fingers down his green tie, smoothing non-existent wrinkles. "I didn't know you could dance."

"I can't. But Lisa wants to go dancing, so I thought I'd try at least."

"Such a good boy. Have a good time. Go on, get out of here." She pushed him to the door with a smile.

Dean waved on his way out, and it was only a moment before they heard the Nova roar to life.

"He looked nice, didn't he?" Andrea asked as she came in the kitchen.

"Cleans up righ' good," Benny agreed.

"Meanwhile, Cas is out there looking like a sad puppy," Charlie added, coming in behind Andrea.

Benny sighed. He peeked through the order window.

Cas was slowly bussing a table, staring out the window at Merritt Blvd. The Nova sat at the light, waiting to make the left onto Wise Avenue.

"Damn. That poor kid is so lovesick over Dean." Andrea clucked her tongue. "He really oughta just say something."

It was true. Cas was completely gone on Dean Smith. And the only person who didn't know it was Dean himself.

"Can lead a horse to water," Benny mumbled, tossing a chicken breast and couple of burger patties on the grill.

"I know. The sad thing is, I don't think Dean has a preference as far as girls or guys. To be honest, I'm kinda surprised he's dating Lisa. It took him so long to even go get a cup of coffee with her. I just don't think he's interested." Charlie sighed. "I think he's dating her just to be nice."

"Well, it's his business," Andrea said firmly. "And if Cas ain't gonna say nothin', well, that's his business, too."

"I know. Just makes me hurt for both of them. I mean, jeez, they practically spend every spare moment together anyway."

"Dean's getting attached to Lisa's son," Benny said softly. "I think that's why he's still seeing her. Don't think there's anything there other than that."

Both women looked stricken.

"Anyway. We got a diner to run, ladies."

"Right. Sorry, Benny." Charlie took the now plated burgers and disappeared through the door.

Andrea stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "I'll be in the office, doin' the books. Love ya, you old bear."

Benny smiled. He and Andrea might fight from time to time, but damn, he loved that woman with the very essence of his being.

Cas opened the door with his ass, pushing into the kitchen with his bus tray. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes downcast. He walked past Benny without a word, disappearing around the corner to the dishwashing station.

"Poor kid," Benny muttered under his breath.

* * *

><p>Benny startled awake, heart pounding. He stared into the darkness of his and Andrea's room, wondering what had woken him.<p>

A muffled crash from somewhere downstairs answered that question. Benny slid out of bed and opened the door, making no sound. There was a pretty good chance it was Dean, but he hadn't heard the Nova - and he always heard the Nova.

Silently working his way down the stairs, Benny rounded the corner into the living room. That room, and the kitchen as well, were dark and empty.

Another crash echoed up the basement stairwell.

Benny sighed. It was definitely Dean, but what the hell was he doing at - Benny squinted at the clock - 2:45 in the morning?

"Dean?" Benny called softly as he opened the door. "You alrigh'?"

No answer. The basement was dark, but he could hear movement. Benny flipped on the light over the stairs.

"I'm comin' down, kiddo."

Once he got to the bottom of the stairs, and his eyes adjusted to the light, he called out to Dean again.

"Didn't hear ya come in. Usually, that car of yours wakes me up. Didn't hear it tonight, though. Did the date go alright?" No answer. "Dean?"

"Leave me 'lone, Benny." Dean's voice was soft, quiet. "Jus' go back upstairs. Leave me 'lone. Jus' go 'way."

"Can't do that now, son. You don't sound righ'." Benny reached down and flipped on Dean's bedside lamp. "Shit," he said, catching sight of Dean.

Dean sat on the floor, back near the entry door. His shirt was wrinkled, and slightly unbuttoned. The tie was gone. His best jeans were smeared and dirty. But the worst thing of all was his eyes. They were bloodshot, glassy, and vacant.

A half empty bottle of Wild Turkey hung loosely in his grasp.

"Where'd that come from?"

"Where d'ya think it came from? A liquor store," Dean slurred.

"Too young to be drinkin', kiddo."

Dean threw his wallet at Benny, and it bounced off his chest and hit the floor. "Well, the ID you paid fifteen hundred smackarooies for says I'm twenty-one. So I got me some booze with my damn license."

Benny didn't say anything else. He walked to where Dean was sitting, staring at him with that glassy green gaze. He sat down beside him.

"Wanna sip?" Dean offered the bottle.

"Boy, you know I don't. Ain't nice to offer that to a recoverin' alcoholic."

"Oh, I forgot," Dean giggled, "'Drea made you quit." His voice had taken on a nasty tone. "Benny always does what Miss Andrea wants."

"Hmm. Sometimes. As it turns out, she was right about the booze. Jus' tell me you didn't drive like this?"

"Car's at the diner. I walked."

"From the diner? Jesus."

"Found a liquor store along the way and got this," he held up the bottle and some of the whiskey splashed over the side, "so wasn't a total bummer."

Benny didn't reply and Dean didn't offer anything else.

They sat quietly in the dim basement, the silence only broken by the occasional sloshes of whiskey as Dean drank from the bottle.

He was at a loss. Benny couldn't imagine why Dean was like this; he knew if he asked him, Dean probably wouldn't tell him.

"You and Lisa break up?"

"Hah!" Dean chortled. "Were we ever together?" He blew a long, loud raspberry. "I was in it for Ben, let's be honest." Dean was slurring every word, his head drooping. "Fucked up," he muttered. "All fucked up."

"What's fucked up? What's goin' on with you?"

Silence.

"Dean?"

"Nineteen fuckin' years old and can't fuckin' get it up. Can't even fake it. Fucked up." He took another long swig of the whiskey. "Got a pretty girl all warm and naked, all over me like a bad suit, and Little Dean ain't even interested."

Benny didn't say a damn word. Maybe it was wrong, but the alcohol seemed to have loosened Dean's tongue, and he was going to keep his mouth shut and see where it went.

Raising the bottle, Dean took another long swig. "I mean, damn, Lisa's got the softest hands, and her damn mouth, Jesus. Held out long as I could on the whole sex thing, but she had 'spectations." Another long swig. "Nice, soft girl, all over me, and all I could hear in my head was such a good boy, Dean-o, so pretty Dean-o." He shuddered. "Hell, if I told you the truth, you'd toss my ass. Prob'ly call the cops, too."

"Dean, there is nothing in this world that could make me throw you out. I promise you that." Benny reached over and gently pried the bottle from Dean's fingers. He was surprised that the kid didn't fight him. "How 'bout we get you some water and somethin' to eat? Soak up all that liquor?"

"I killed him," Dean said flatly. "I stabbed my father. I killed him and I ran."

Silence.

Benny didn't know what to say.

"Gonna ask me to go now, aren't you?" Dean asked quietly.

"No, I - no. I won't, Dean."

"I did it. I'm not lying. I took that fuckin' knife, and I stabbed him. Over and over and over." He laughed, a dark, mirthless sound. "And he deserved it and I'd fuckin' do it again. I'd do it again and again and again, Benny. Fuckin' hell." He hiccupped.

"Dean, if you killed your father, I'm sure you had a good reason," Benny said softly.

"He was a sonuvabitch. Hit me all the time. All the damn time." Dean sniffled. "I got a little brother out there somewhere. I killed our father and he looked up at me. Saw myself go from hero to villain in his eyes and I ran. I got a little brother out there, and I'll never see him again. I can't see him again. He'd probably have me arrested on the spot." He laughed bitterly. "If he's even still alive."

"Dean -"

"Three fuckin' days. Kept me chained up and naked. Three fuckin' days. I got loose though. Got loose and found a damn knife. Was so out of my mind. Cut his goddamn dick and balls off. See if he'd ever use that shit on me again."

Benny reeled. "Shit, Dean, are you sayin' -"

"Three days, Benny. I was bleeding so bad when I got away. Went to a hospital and they stitched me up. Wouldn't tell 'em who I was. Ran. Had to run." He reached over Benny and grabbed the bottle, taking another long swig. Benny was too shocked to stop him. "Hitched the fuck out of Arizona. Ended up here. Tried selling my body for a while, but I kept gettin' beat up. Then you and 'Drea took me in. Because you're nice or stupid. Maybe a little of both."

He couldn't think. Benny couldn't wrap his brain around the things Dean was telling him.

"Fuckin' nineteen Benny. Should be able to get it up, come, get it up again. Fuckin' hell. I think my old man broke my sex drive. How fucked up is that? He took my damn life from me, and he's still - I killed him, but I can't get rid of him. I can't - I don't have a family. I ain't got nothin'. He took it all. Fuck." Dean hiccupped and sniffled. "Fuckin' hell, Benny."

Benny sat in stunned silence while Dean took a few more swigs of whiskey.

"He was always beating on me, but nothin' like that. Guess he was pissed. Caught me giving a blow job to Ken Hoffman three days before in the back of the Impala. Didn't care if I fucked girls. Apparently dudes were not acceptable." Dean tilted the bottle back, draining the last few drops into his mouth. He stared at the empty bottle. "Shit. Drank the whole fuckin' thing." He leaned back against the wall, his head thudded hollowly on the paneling.

"Dean -"

"I know. I gotta go. Don''t want me 'round now."

"Shit, no. That ain't it at all."

"I got nowhere t'go, though. Maybe I could stay at Charlie's. I killed my own father," Dean said again, like Benny had missed it the first time. "Don't got anyone now. Sammy prob'ly wouldn't be able to look me in the eye."

"Sammy?"

"M'brother. He'd be fifteen. Always such a good kid. Miss him, Benny. Miss him so much. My family is gone."

"You still got family. Shit, Dean. Ain't you figured it out yet? Me and 'Drea, we think of you as a son. Can't have no kids of our own, and we'd pretty well given up when you showed up. You're everything I'd want in a son. Loving, kind, smart, polite - literally everything 'Drea and I could have ever hoped for. And I'd've thought that in the three years you've been with us, you'd've figured out how we feel about you. How much we love you." Benny dropped an arm around Dean's shoulders. "I think you were right to kill him. And don't you think for a minute that I won't protect you, protect what you've told me tonight."

A hard shudder went through Dean's body.

"I mean it, you don't have to leave. I don't want you to go. I'm glad you're here. Shit, Dean, I'll keep saying it until it sinks in. I love you. I love you like you're my own flesh and blood. There is nothing in this world you could do to make me stop loving you. And I know beyond a shadow of doubt that 'Drea feels the same way."

Dean took in a ragged breath, the shaking in his shoulders getting worse. "Gonna be sick," he mumbled.

Fumbling blindly, Benny grabbed an empty rubbermaid tote and got it underneath Dean just in time. The boy retched and was violently ill. He heaved, repeatedly, and the stench of old alcohol filled the basement as he emptied his stomach. The heaves turned to anguished sobs, his whole frame shaking with the force of them.

"It's ok, Dean, it's ok," Benny soothed, pushing the tote away and pulling Dean closer. He wrapped his arms around him and rocked him slightly. "It's alright, I promise. You don't have to leave. I promise."

Dean just cried impossibly harder, burrowing into Benny's arms. Andrea appeared on silent feet, taking the empty bottle and the tote without a word. She cleaned everything up, and then pulled back the sheets on Dean's bed. Moving to the dresser, Andrea picked out a clean tee shirt and sweats, tossing them on the bed.

"I'm - I just - I fuck everything up!" Dean sobbed. "I break everything. I'm poison. I'm poison, Benny!"

"No, you're not. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and 'Drea. Don't you know that boy?"

Andrea knelt beside them with a damp washcloth, which she laid across the back of Dean's neck. "Dean, honey, we love you so much. You gotta know that."

"Don't deserve -"

"Ain't a matter of deserve or don't deserve. We love you. That's it. Ok?"

Dean shook his head, face still buried in Benny's chest.

"Let's get him to bed," Andrea said softly.

Benny nodded, and scooped Dean into his arms. It was a little bit of a strain, lifting the kid bridal style, but he did it anyway. Dean had nearly cried himself to sleep by that point. Between the leftover effects of the booze, and the emotional toll, his body was simply shutting down. They both worked together to strip off his clothes, pulling the tee and sweats onto his skinny frame.

Dean was asleep by the time they tucked him in, and they both left the room.

Upstairs in the kitchen, Andrea leaned against the fridge door. "What in the hell?" she asked Benny.

"Oh, god, 'Drea, he told me everything. And I mean everything." Benny dropped into the closest chair. "Alcohol loosens that boy's tongue and - and - _Jesus_." He rubbed his eyes. "It's bad. It's worse than what I thought happened to him. Way worse."

"Care to share with the class?"

"Yeah, but not tonight, baby. Can we jus' go to bed? I'm jus' - I'm _done._"

Andrea frowned and pursed her lips. "Ok. But you're gonna tell me in the mornin', hear?"

"Yes, darlin'. I promise."

She nodded, and left the kitchen, gently rubbing his shoulder on the way out. Benny followed her upstairs not long after, curling around her warm body.

Despite his exhaustion, it was a long time before Benny was able to sleep.

* * *

><p>"Why is the Nova in the parking lot, and I thought Dean was scheduled today?" Cas asked as he pushed open the kitchen door, setting his bus tray on the edge of the counter.<p>

Benny looked up from the pancakes he was cooking. He looked tired, with some pretty serious dark circles under his eyes. "Uh, he had a rough night. He walked home last night. He's home sleepin'."

"Oh," Cas tried to ignore the little bubble of hope in his belly, "did he and Lisa break up?"

"Pretty sure. But there's more to it than that. He drank too much and he jus' got real upset and - " Benny sighed. "Anyway. He's home sleepin'."

"Least I hope he's sleepin'," Andrea walked by with a pie in each hand. "He needs it. Poor boy," she added as she walked out to the front.

"What's going on? Why was he drinking?"

"Like I said, Cas. He had a rough night." Benny turned back to the grill, clearly considering the matter closed.

Sighing, Cas hefted the tray and headed out to the dining room. He cleared a few tables, took the tray back, and circled the room again.

"So?"

"So what?"

Charlie put a hand on her hip and stared him down. "Where's Dean?"

"Home, sleeping. I dunno."

"He never misses work, Cas. Something's wrong."

"Benny says he had a rough night."

"Hmm." She tapped her index finger against her bottom lip, stepping neatly to the side so he could collect the plates on table twelve. "Hot date with Lisa last night, home sleeping it off today. Either he went a couple rounds with her last night, or they broke up and he's home nursing his poor broken heart."

Cas stopped what he was doing and glared at Charlie. "It's not funny. Y'know? It's not funny."

"What's not?"

"Making fun of me."

"Cas! I'm not making fun of you. I'm speculating! I wanted them to split up as much as you did!"

The doorbell tinkled, and Lisa stepped into the restaurant, tiny four year old Ben snuggled against her chest. She caught sight of them and smiled sadly, heading back to the kitchen.

"What's that about?"

"Dunno. But I have a full tray and I'm about to go find out." He winked at Charlie, and took his tray back towards the kitchen.

"...don't have to. I think it'll be ok."

"I don't know. He was so - god, he was wrecked, Benny. And I feel like it would be really uncomfortable for him to have to work with me. I wouldn't dream of asking you to chose between us; after all, he's been here longer than I have. My mom and dad want me to move back to Chicago, anyway. So I think that's what I'm going to do."

"At least let me give you the rest of what you would have earned this week."

"No, Benny, I couldn't -"

Cas walked quietly past them. Andrea was holding Ben, distracting him while Benny and Lisa talked. He emptied the tray in the back, grabbed a clean one, and headed back up front.

"...but he needs therapy. Something horrible happened to him. I don't know. He's just - he's the nicest, sweetest, kindest guy I've ever dated. He's been so good to Ben. I'm really sorry it didn't work out. Dean's the kind of guy a girl could spend her whole life with."

Not wanting to eavesdrop anymore than he already had, Cas left the kitchen and wandered back out to an impatiently waiting Charlie.

"Well?"

"I think Lisa just quit."

"What, really?"

"Yes. She was telling Benny that she didn't think it would be comfortable for Dean to work around her anymore. I don't know anything more than that."

"Cas?"

"Yes, Benny?"

Benny walked to where Charlie and Cas were standing. "We're not too busy today, but 'Drea and I can't leave. Think you could take the Nova back to my place, and deliver some food to Dean? Maybe stay with him a bit?"

"Uh, sure. No problem."

"Good. I'll pay you for the day."

"That's not necessary."

"I want to. I'll have some food ready for him in about ten. Why don't you finish up and get ready to go."

"Ok."

Benny nodded and went back to the kitchen.

"Holy shit," Charlie said. "Something big happened last night if Benny's sending you to check on him."

They both watched silently while Andrea walked Ben and Lisa to the door. Hugs were exchanged.

"You better call me. You better call me and tell me he's ok, because now I'm really worried."

"I will," Cas assured her, pulling off his apron.

She wasn't the only one that was worried.

…

Dean's room was dark, and he was curled into a tight ball in the middle of the bed. Cas sighed and set the bag of food on his nightstand. He sat carefully on the bed, observing his friend in the low light of the basement.

Friend.

Who was he kidding? Dean was the embodiment of everything Cas had ever wanted for himself. He was in love with Dean. Completely, totally in love. And the worst thing of all?

He couldn't tell him.

"Dean? It's me. Cas."

"Mmm."

"I brought the Nova home. And Benny sent soup."

The basement smelled of stale whiskey and sweat. It wasn't a pleasant smell.

"Don't feel good," Dean mumbled.

"I know. But I'm here. I'm going to help you get cleaned up. I think you'll feel better with some food in you."

"Benny tell you what happened?"

"Said you had a rough night. He said you drank too much."

Dean groaned from under the blanket. "That's an understatement."

"C'mon. I'll go start the shower, and while you're in there, I'll get your food out and find some Tylenol."

He didn't get an answer, but he went to the bathroom anyway. Cas got the shower good and hot. Dean stumbled into the bathroom, hair sticking up in a thousand different directions. He was sleep rumpled, with deep shadows under his eyes and a mark on his cheek created by a wrinkle in the sheets.

He was still the most beautiful thing Castiel had ever seen.

"I'll leave you to it," he muttered, backing out of the bathroom. He had Dean's food set up on the small table in the basement when the shower shut off, and a few minutes later, Dean reemerged in a cloud of steam.

"All that for me?"

"Benny sent enough for both of us. Come eat."

They ate in silence, and when they were finished, Cas cleared all the containers, carrying them up the outside stairs to the trashcan. When he came back to the basement, Dean had crawled back into bed.

"Would you like me to leave?"

"No."

"I could put in a movie?"

"That's good idea."

Cas opened sorted through the tapes on top of Dean's TV. "Season two of TNG," he announced, holding up the tape.

"Yeah," Dean said listlessly.

Frowning, Cas put the tape in and turned it on. "Oh, I like this one. Riker on a Klingon ship." He settled into a chair near the bed. They watched in silence for a bit, until Cas became aware of the muffled sniffling coming from Dean.

He didn't say anything, but kicked off his shoes and crawled into the bed. Dean melted into his side.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

Dean shook his head. "Nothing."

"I don't believe you. You can tell me anything, you know that?"

"I know. You're my best friend. I just - didn't think about something for a long time, and I thought about it a lot last night. Now I can't stop thinking about it. And I just want to go back to how it was before. The numbness was better." His voice cracked, and he started crying in earnest.

Cas pulled him closer, wrapping his arms tight around Dean's shoulders.

Curiosity burned. Cas wanted to know what it was Dean had thought of for the first time in a long time. He wanted to know everything.

But, Dean needed a friend right now. He needed someone to comfort and care for him without expectations. And although Cas desperately wanted to be more than Dean's friend, if that's what Dean needed, than that's would he would do.

Tears soaked his shirt from where Dean was laying on his shoulder.

"I'm so tired," Dean whispered.

"Then sleep."

"Promise you won't leave me. Please?"

"I won't. I'll stay. Sleep, Dean."

Cas stared at the TV as Riker stuffed blood worms in his mouth, and the body against his relaxed. Dean's breathing evened out as he fell deeply asleep.

"Someday, I'll tell you. I swear it," Cas whispered to the empty room. "Someday, I'll tell you I love you."


End file.
